It had been weeks since Luke was admitted to the hospital.
He had drowned, though they managed to resurrect him.
Thank god, Zander wouldn't of been able to live with himself if he had died.
Zander had fallen, further than he ever had before. He was spiralling. He stopped taking his pills, he stopped taking care of himself, he was done. He still had to show up to work because he had to still pay his rent.
He hadn't told anyone he and Luke were dating. Nobody knew how close they actually were, as far as the club knew, they only went out together once.
So everyone spent all their time comforting hailey, she got to stay off school while Zander continuously went into work.
Aside from rent, the rest of his money, it all went towards wool and flowers.
Wool for crochet, crochet for Luke, and flowers for, of course, Luke.
Not a single penny went towards his book.
Zander would spend his nights sobbing, the zipper wrapped around him as he held onto the kuromi plush as if she was his life line, and she was.
He missed being held, he missed being loved.
If he could go back in time, he would've never went to that stupid river.
Luke would never love him again.
He knew this.
He was fine with that, he deserved it.
He was longing for Luke to wake up, so he could apologise, so he could say sorry. He had apologised so so many times, on call with the operator, in the ambulance, by his bedside, but Luke never heard it.
Here Zander sat, next to his bedside as he was mindlessly crocheting yet another dumb stuffed animal for Luke. Nobody knew where they all came from, every day there was multiple new ones, Zander never stuck around the hospital for long, too ashamed to remain there. He usually came later at night, no one was ever there.
The next day, Zander was at work. A Customer came in and Zander tiredly asked for their order.
They had ordered a tea. Just milk, no sugar. They handed over the money £3.49 as they went to sit down.
As soon as Zanders back turned, tears came to his eyes. It was the exact same order, the order he was so so familiar with.
Who knew a simple cup of tea could make him so emotional.
He couldn't do it. He left the teacup behind the counter as he walked into the staff room.
"..Charlotte...?"
"Oh? Zander! What's wrong!? Why are you crying!?"
"It's nothing- it's stupid.. I just..- I know you're on break but can you please take this customer for me...?" He asked, hugging himself as he watched Charlotte stand up.
"..Of course sweetheart. Go calm yourself down, did you leave your notepad out there?"
He nodded.
Charlotte sighed as she walked out, leaving Zander alone with his thoughts.
He sat down on the couch and hunched over, burying his face in his hands as he began to silently weep.
He didn't have a right to cry, it was his own idiocy that caused all of this.
Luke had sacrificed everything, just to save him. It wasn't fair. He didn't want to be saved, Luke should've just let him go.
He couldn't do this anymore, he couldn't.
Since Luke fell, Zanders been worse than he ever was before. He couldn't care less what happened to himself anymore.
He just couldn't find it in himself to care.
He went through the rest of work, hating every last second of it.
He walked home, through the park, seeing the leaves fall from the trees. Luke really, really reminded him of autumn. He always felt so distant, the joy you feel with autumn is short lasted. Yet he still loves autumn, so so much.
He walked into his house, it was oddly quiet. Whatever. He didn't care. He walked up the steps to his room.
And as he opened the door.
He saw a man with auburn hair, sitting on his bed, looking right at him.
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WOOOOOO CHAPTER 9
This was supposed to be a fluffy book, ig muscle memory kicked in?
