Dark Demon

2. Kainaat

It is strange how you can be so loveable and so denied at the same time . Weird right ?

I've always heard from people since a certain age that I'm not being valued. My friends , my cousins and even strangers tell me that he doesn't care but why do my parents not see it?

Saying yes to this engagement was because I had no problems with Devansh Thakkar.  He belonged to my friend circle,  he's handsome and he had no problems with my love for music  . He didn't tell me to throw my guitar away . So why would I say no ?

At that time there was no expectation,  requirement or longing for love in my life but today,  it hurts . It hurts that everyone deserves love but I don't .

Looking at myself through the mirror while brushing my Bob cut hair , I wonder why do I not deserve love ? Maybe there is just a little tension between us as we've never actually talked to each other like we should have . The most important thing that comes across my mind is that I can't let my silly expectations from Dev taint my dad's reputation. For him, this marraige means a lot . Two law firms merging will transforms the lives of all lawyers in our families.
I can't let Dev break this marraige off . I can't let my dad be hurt because of me .

"Are you coming" Zara yells from downstairs and I take a last glance at my wine coloured pencil skirt and matching top paired with black heels.

Before the start of our semester at The Dreams Elite University,  Devansh has a party at his house where Zara is taking me along . Not that Dev is gonna have any problem with me being there . My existence doesn't matter to him . His doesn't matter to me either.

Being an only singer in a lawyer family is very difficult but Devansh is my golden ticket out of here. For that I can bear with him neglecting me.

I know,  I know this is wrong.  This is fucked up shit but there is no U-turn to the road I took.

"Woah you look super gorgeous" she grins making me smile .

"Shivay is coming too"

"With shruti?"

"Ofcourse" she waves her hand making it obvious.

Shruti and Zara have been my best friend since the day I opened my eyes which reminds me of "what about Inayat ?"

"She's coming too , we're gonna have fun"

All four of us have been soulmates for life while the guys have been together always.
Shivay , Devansh and Abhimanyu .

When we step out of the car at Dev's Mansion, I know his parents are out of town which is the reason this party is happening here afterall .

The Mansion is spread across a large piece of land . It's a modern,  white painted structure.

My feet come to a hault and I'm frozen on my place when my eyes land at him leaning againt the poolside bar with a girl pressed againt his body.  She has a glass in her hand from which he is taking sips .

"He's just--drunk" Abhimanyu tries his best to cover up for him . I force a smile and nod "I anyways don't care Abhimanyu"

He wraps an arm around my shoulder walking me and his sister inside the Mansion . While walking in , I notice Devansh saw me . He gets away from the bar instantly and follows us close.

"You sit here and if you guys need anything let me know but no talking to punks" he warns Zara .

"Sure" Zara Says looking at Devansh. " take him away before I loose it"

I hold her hand and look into her eyes .

"What are you doing here " devansh snaps at me .

"Sitting" I speaking before gulping water from the glass.

He opens his mouth to say something but Abhimanyu cuts him off " I think shiv is here"

Dev nods and registers a warning "I'll be back"

He doesn't want me but he wants to control me . He doesn't want to have me but and won't let anyone else have me .

"He's toxic kai" she looks at me with pity and I smile  "I know"

"You'll ruin your life for a stupid engagement you were forced into ?"

"Nobody forced me Zara , I want this.  Whatever happens in the end he'll have to come to me . We are tied" I look at the diamond sitting on my ring finger .

"I'm sorry to say but you dissapointed me" she says and strolls outside.

A tear drops down my eye which I quickly wipe off .

"It's better to dissapoint you , then to dissapoint my father"

After two hours , I can't find shruti , Zara or anyone but my eyes land at Inayat .

"Where are they" I ask loud over the music .

"Devansh is looking for you" she says but I ignore that statement untill someone grabs my upper arm tight . By the rough hold , I can tell it's him without even looking  . Without another word , he takes me towards the car . When I sit inside without any objection he slams the door shut.

I'm at that stage of this relationship where a person knows that this won't last but still keeps false hopes to get hurt on a daily basis.

"Don't dare come at a party like this without asking me" he snaps and I nod .

I am someone who loves to talk but around him, there is nothing to talk,  there is nothing to argue . His presence suffocates my soul and My future terrifies me .

The car stops in front of my house and I step out of it followed by him.

"Go sleep because from tommorow you have to focus on your studies . My dad wants you to complete your LLB. "

"I'll focus on studies so that you can focus on girls"

For once he gets really infuriated but suppresses that anger.
Once shruti laughed and made a statement that I took very seriously and I cannot ever forget even if it was just a joke

If it goes on like this,  he'll start beating you up , so it's better you beat him up first.

He will , his clenched fist tells me .

"Do not infuriate me kai , go upstairs "

"Because you have no answers , do you even remember there is a ring on your finger that I put there? "

He unclenches his fist as the ring on his finger shines under light. Fake shine , fake ring , fake engagement.

"That doesn't matter because you will be my wife"

"Wife ?? A property , a poor thing lying in a corner of your Mansion that you'll only remember when you come back home at nights so that you can fuck her" I ball my hands into fists as my voice breaks down.

His next reaction makes my heart sink into my stomach so deep that I no longer feel it.

"So ?" He steps forward and I have no answer " So what kainaat ? Isn't that the bitter truth,  isn't it what you signed for ? You put this on my finger " he flashes the ring proudly as my legs tremble.  I want to throw up. I want to cry. 
Or better, I want to die .

"You want me to do it now ?" He steps forward.

I raise my hand to slap him but he holds my arm " tsk , tsk . Don't you dare.  I'm gonna throw this ring right away if you slap me . Then you'll have to face your dad . Why did you slap him kai ? I'm sorry dad , my fiance touched me so I slapped him ." He chuckles " go sleep,  study and teach yourself how to make me happy . Before that I don't wanna see this face " he holds my chin with a hand .
"Your beauty doesn't excite me because it is for free. I can have it whenever,  wherever I want "
I push his hand away and run upstairs covering my mouth with a hand . I fall on the bed and hide my face in a  pillow to muffle my cries .

__________________________