Heartless

Chapter 4

Eda looked at the baby monitor, which was standing on the kitchen island, and saw Kiraz getting up in her crib.

"When you were at the station, her teeth were bothering her. I gave her a pain relief gel." Melo remarked, glancing at the screen.

"My poor baby, these teeth are a nightmare." Eda quickly jumped on her feet and hurried upstairs to her bedroom. When she passed through the door, she heard muffled cries.

"Hi, baby. Did your teeth wake you up?" She said softly to Kiraz, who was chewing on her rubber giraffe teether. 

"Mommy will give you something that will make it better." She took a gel and leaned over a crib, massaging the baby's gums where a new tooth was coming out. She smiled when her daughter stopped crying.  "See, it doesn't hurt anymore."

"Anne!" Kiraz extended her hands to Eda to pick her up.

"You want to sleep with me? Of course, you do." Eda smiled and took Kiraz out of the crib. She distributed soft kisses on chubby cheeks of her daughter and put her in the middle of the double bed. "Wait a second. I will get rid of my clothes, and we will sleep together, tamam?"

Eda lay down next to Kiraz, taking her tiny hand into hers and laying her head close. She stroked her dark brown locks. "I love you so much, my baby."

Eda was looking as Kiraz fell asleep, looking at her perfect, beautiful face. At first glance, Kiraz was her copy. She had her hair and eyes, but she also had a lot from Serkan. His cheeks and chin, the way he smiled and laughed, his mannerisms when focusing on a task. Kiraz only at first glance looked like Eda, but in her behavior, she was all Serkan since the moment, she started to show her personality. 

Eda bit her lips to stop herself from sobbing at loud and adjusted the cover on Kiraz. She felt so guilty every time someone said that her daughter looked like her because even if she knew from the very beginning that it would be a girl, she dreamed of having a boy, little Serkan with reddish locks, round cheeks, and beautiful hazel eyes, and she felt that this dream was so unfair to her daughter, who was perfect and looked exactly as her father wanted.

"I miss your baba so much." Eda whispered. "We haven't seen his pictures for a couple of months now, but I miss him. I don't know what to do. I didn't want to take you away from him. Don't blame him. It wasn't his fault." Her voice cracked. "Please forgive me and don't hate me when you ask me about your baba and I won't have answers. I'm lost. I have no idea what I'm doing." 

Eda put her face on the pillow to muffle her cries so as not to wake up Kiraz.

* * *

"Melo, I need to go to the company. I made soup for Kiraz. The chicken is in the air fryer it will be done in half an hour. In the fridge, you will find a smoothie for her, and I sliced banana and apple. Don't give her grapes, they are too dangerous, and don't give her anything with sugar. I made a list when she should..."

"Eda, I know. It's not the first time I'm staying with Kiki. I know everything."

"I put a new size of diaper next to the changing mat. She's between sizes again. I put Kiraz's clothes in the washing machine, but I will take them out after I get back from work." Eda continued, hanging on the chair spare clothes for Kiraz and folding burbs and bibs in two neat piles. "If she won't drink water, the formula is in the upper cabinet left from the oven."

"I know. When do you even manage to do everything? Did you wake up again at five? Did you eat a breakfast?" Melo asked with concern. Eda was always slender, but lately, she was getting too thin.