Heartless

Chapter 9

Eda woke up in an empty, cold bed. If not for messed sheets, she would think what they did here last night was just a dream. 

She moved slightly and groaned. Her head was killing her. She had no idea that she drank so much last night, but she overestimated her abilities, and things got out of hand. She knew there was nothing good about their lapse. Otherwise, Serkan would be next to her, eventually getting sick in the bathroom, but it was empty.

Eda dragged herself out of the bed in a grim mood, which had gotten even worse when her gaze fell on the floor. Serkan's clothes were missing, so he must have taken them deliberately, another bad sign. 

She went slowly to the bathroom to wash her face and looked at her smudged mascara and tangled hair. She still was wearing the diamonds she had gotten from Serkan, but now they were choking her. Eda quickly removed them and went to shower not being able to look at her reflection anymore. 

She had no idea how Serkan would be behaving from now on. It was the first time in her life that she dreaded the moment when she would have to look him in the eyes. She had never been so self-conscious about his reaction, even when she was doing awful things to him or after her suicide attempt, she had more confidence than now. 

Eda opened the hot water, letting it wash off the traces of the last night, even if she didn't want to part with them. She took a shower gel and looked at her body. She had a generous amount of hikes all over her breasts and bruises on her hips in the shape of Serkan fingers. She traced them, biting her lips at the remindment of the last night. It was absolutely amazing, but she doubted if it was worth it. It was too soon. They didn't resolve any of their problems, and Serkan definitely wasn't warming up to her, especially given his behavior before he got hammered. He got wasted specifically because of their shitty situation, so sleeping together at that stage couldn't bring anything good to them. 

Eda cursed her stupidity, leaving the shower and wrapping the towel around her body. She shouldn't have been drinking yesterday, she should have settled with one drink at most. She knew that Serkan wasn't taking alcohol very well. He had a tendency to black out and not remember what he did. It was obvious that it was the case this time, as he acted like they weren't broken up. Sober Serkan would never do that. 

Eda wondered if he even remembered what had happened last night because there was a big possibility that he didn't. She didn't know what scenario was worst, him not remembering a thing would be humiliating for her, but at this point, Eda was past any humiliation that could affect her, but if he was mad. She wasn't sure if she was ready to meet her wrath.

Eda brushed her teeth and went to get dressed, immersed in grim thoughts. She didn't even know if Serkan was at home. It was so quiet. It was already a late morning so maybe he went to pick up Kiraz. Eda pulled a grey t-shirt over her head, buttoned up her white shorts, and went downstairs to look for Serkan.

She found him in the kitchen. He was already dressed in a dark grey suit and was preparing healthy snacks for Kiraz. He spotted her when she passed the door.

"I'm sorry. It should've never happened." Serkan said before Eda even opened her mouth.

"Serkan.." She tried to walk close to him, but he moved to put a distance of kitchen island between them.

"I was drunk. I know it's a lame excuse. It won't happen again."

"I was there too." Eda remarked, observing his withdrawn posture. She would probably prefer him to shout at her that she used him, than apologize to her.

"And you were drunk, too. I didn't want to take advantage of you."

"Serkan, maybe we should talk..." Eda started, but Serkan took his car keys and left through the back door.