Is It Still You?

Feelings

We open the door of Matt's room and see both of them standing in his room, yelling at each other.
"GUYS!" I yell.
"Can you guys go out for a minute, I want to seriously talk to him." Chris says and gives as a look.
Nick: "Are you for real we are not leaving! I told you not to go into his room. Can you not fucking listen to me once??"
"Shut the fuck up, Nick!" Chris shouts.
Matt: "Guys can you get him out? Or else I will leave."
Chris: "You are not leaving until we talked about all of this!"
Matt: "We will never be able to talk about all of this if you're not understanding me."
"How am I supposed to understand you if you're saying you will keep fighting for her if she already chose me?" Chris yells.
"Oh so you're telling me you wouldn't keep fighting for her if she chose me or Tobias?" Matt yells back.
Chris: "I don't know if I would do it or not but you are my brother and I would be happy for you and want the best for you! But apparently you don't think the same for me. You want to keep fighting so she changes her mind and picks you! What kind of brother is that??"
Matt: "Can you shut the fuck up! You are my brother and you want the best for me? Fine, leave me alone and don't talk to me for the next few hours. I don't need to hear your shit if you can't understand my feelings!"
"Fine Matt! Stop being a Baby and talk about you feelings. I'm waiting. Tell me!" Chris shouts.
"I have feelings for her since elementary school and I never told her because of you! I always had the feeling that you like her too and I wanted to give you the chance to be with her. I tried to hide my feelings for the past years and when I saw her again everything came back and I couldn't control it anymore! I had to tell her but when you told me you like her too I was shocked and felt bad because I didn't want to ruin everything for you and her. I tried to forget about her and to think of her like a best friend but I couldn't. My mind wouldn't let me because I truly love her! I wanted to try and fight for her because I always give up that fast and I wanted to change that for once in my life but you were just looking at yourself! You were flirting with her in front of me and expected me to be fine and after I tried to do my best I hear that she loves you. Do you know how I felt? Can you even imagine the pain? You are happy, good for you but think about my side of the situation, think about what I had to go through and let's see if you understand me now. I'm tired of this shit and to hear what kind of brother I am makes me upset and angry at the same time. I was always on your side and wanted the best for you! Now what kind of brother are you? Look at yourself and think about it." Matt says and starts to tear up. He looks at Chris and leaves the room.
Chris is just standing in the middle of the bedroom trying to realize everything.
Nick gives me a look and nods his head.
I nod my head too and leave to room.
"Matt, were are you going?" I yell.
"I'm going for a drive, I need to go out of this house." He says and puts his shoes on.
"Matt, please wait." I say but before I could say more he closes the front door and walks to his car.
"Perfect." I whisper to myself and walk back to the others.
"What is going on?" Tobias asks while walking downstairs.
I ignore him and walk into Matt's room.
"Hello? He says and follows me.
"Was that worth it Chris?" I ask and look at him.
He stares at the ground and shakes his head.
Tobias: "What is going on? Where is Matt?"
"He left. I overreacted and started to blame him for something he didn't do." Chris says still looking at the ground.
"I'm sorry guys. I didn't want that to happen." He says and looks at us.
"I think you should tell Matt that." Nick says.
Chris nods and walks towards me.
I'm looking into his eyes and hug him tight.
"It's okay." I whisper.
"Let's go out now." Nick says and leaves the room with Bryan and Tobias following him.
I slightly smile at Chris and leave the room as well. We go into the living room and everyone sits down.
"What are we doing about Matt now?" Bryan asks.
"I don't know it but we have to find him that's for sure." Nick answers while looking into the distance.
Tobias: "Where could he go?"
Nick: "I have no idea but I will go and try to find him."
"No." Chris says.
Nick looks at him confused and frowns.
"Lea should go." Chris says and looks at me. "He needs her more than one of us." He slightly smiles.
I smile back and stand up.
"I will find him and I think I know where he could be." I say and leave the house.
I run to my car and drive out of the driveway. Only a few minutes later I arrive and park the car.
"Come on Matt, please be here." I whisper to myself and open the door.
I walk to the balcony and climb up to the roof. I see him sitting there with his back facing me.
"You know that this is burglary right?" I say in a joking way and walk towards him.
"I guess we are both housebreakers then." He says and looks at me. I start to smile and a second later we are both laughing.
"Can I sit here?" I ask and point next to him.
"You know my answer...it's reserved for you." He smiles. I laugh and sit down.
Lea: "It's really weird to be here."
Matt: "It was your house."
"Yeah...it was." I say.
Matt: "Do you miss it?"
Lea: "Not really, I'm happier to live with you guys."
"So we are not annoying you?" He asks and looks at me.
Lea: "No you guys do not. I hope I don't annoy you guys."
"I mean I can speak for all of us...you are pretty annoying, I have to be honest." He laughs.
I laugh too and hit his shoulder.
"I missed this." He smiles.
"What? Making fun of me?" I laugh.
"That too." He laughs. "But what I meant was us two spending time together." He says.
I smile and look at him.
"And I wish it could be like this all the time but now that someone stole you away from me it can't be possible anymore." He says looking into the distance.
Lea: "That's not true Matt, do you know why? Chris told me I should go and talk to you."
"He said that?" He asks a bit surprised and looks at me.
I nod and slightly smile.
Matt: "I thought you had to convince him to come here."
Lea: "No, he even told Nick not to search for you."
Matt: "Okay...I didn't expect that from him, especially not after our conversation we had."
Lea: "I'm sorry that he reacted that way."
Matt: "Don't be sorry for something he did. It was not your fault that he had to overreact."
Lea: "I think he was shocked and didn't know that you're thinking like that. It was a bit to much for him at the moment."
"That could be but he has still no right to yell at me like that. These are my feelings and I can't do something about it." He says.
Lea: "So can't he. He couldn't control himself anymore and had to let it out. He tries to understand you, so please try to understand him too."
"I will try to understand him. Right now it's just not possible because I'm still mad at him." He says.
"That's okay." I smile. "But what are we gonna do now?" I ask.
"I have no idea..." He says shaking his head. "But I have one question I need to ask you." He says.
I look at him and wait for him to continue.
"Do you have feelings for me?" He asks looking at me.
Lea: "I don't know it...I think there is something between us but I can also feel something between me and Chris. It's complicated..."
Matt: "Why did you choose him?"
"Because I feel a bit more..." I say.
"But what if one day you feel a bit more about me than him. It could be possible..." He says and takes my hand.
"Matt...I can't do this." I whisper.
"Are you two together?" He asks.
"No we are not." I reply.
Matt: "Where is the problem then? You can still change your mind."
"Matt you don't understand...I chose Chris." I say.
He looks at me for a few seconds without saying anything and then starts to speak.
Matt: "Do you remember the last time we were up here?"
"Yeah, I remember..." I say.
"It was the first time that I told you about my feelings for you. I was so nervous to tell you because I thought it wouldn't even matter because you are already with Chris. But my mind changed and that was when we kissed." He says smiling.
"I remember that moment." I smile too.
"Did that kiss mean something for you?" He asks still holding my hand.
Lea: "It was a special moment and I really-"
"Just answer the question." Matt interrupts me.
"Yes, yes it meant something for me. I had feelings for you." I say.
Matt: "You had? What about now?"
"Now it's complicated, Matt. I have no idea about my feeling for you now. I'm confused and don't know what to think anymore." I answer.
"We can find it out.." he says.
"What do you mean?" I ask confused.
"Let me kiss you and we can see if there is something or not." He says looking at me.
"Matt, we can't do that. What about Chris?" I ask.
"You two are not together, it's not like you're betraying him or something." He says.
I don't say anything and just look at him and then at his lips. Millions of thoughts are running through my mind until he takes his hand and places it on my cheek. I begin to feel nervous and my heart starts beating faster and faster. I'm trying to realize what's happening but I get interrupted by Matt's lips on mine.

Thank you guys for reading. Stay tuned!!🙃