Starstruck [KotLC]

Chapter 10

At school the next day, I approached Keefe at his locker with uncertainty. He didn't notice me until I spoke.

"Hey," I managed, the sound barely audible. He gave me a confused look, spinning his gaze about the room as if to check if I was really talking to him.

"Um..." I continued, "I'm sorry. You were right. I found out more about my family and I wasn't ready. I am a freak. I just wanted to let you know." My face reddened as I stammered, and I rushed away before I had to witness his reaction. Running into the nearest bathroom, I looked in the mirror to see an unrecognizable red and blotchy face. Her once beautiful, light blonde hair was now wet with tears and sticking up in all directions. Her once uniquely beautiful brown eyes were now red and bloodshot, encircled by purple bags from sleep deprivation. Her nose was pink and snotty, and her whole body seemed to be weighed down by something the size of a boulder. How did I end up like this? I wonder.

 Guilt is a scary thing.

 It effects elves much more than humans.

 Elves' minds can shatter if put under enough guilty pressure.

I coached myself with simple commands. Breathe in. Breathe out. Breathe in. Breathe out. Concentrate.

 Freak! 

 Special Case. 

I gripped my head and rocked back and forth.

 No, I think. I'm stronger than this.

 Isn't that what you thought before, too? But you weren't. You didn't live up to your own expectations. Even when everyone else knew you would fail, you thought you were better. But you're not.

And that's when I blacked out.

I remember nothing but icy pain during my days of being broken. I felt like my brain was slowly being torn to shreds by cold blades for what felt like days but could only have been hours. When my eyes finally opened, a blurry scene of shouting was set infront of me in a familiar room I couldn't define.

"What did she do?! Who broke her?!"

"Who knows? She was under so much pressure."

Pressure. Keefe. Guilt. No.

Before I knew it, I was screaming and clutching my head. A familiar searing pain was jolting me, like someone was performing brain surgery on me while I was still awake and off of pain medications. Hands gripped me and pinned me down as calming words were forced into my head. I immediately recognized them as Fitz's transmissions.

 Shhh, Sophie, you're okay. You did nothing wrong. Everything is okay. Please hear me out. Everyone here loves you and needs you right now, so if you can, please use your awesome mind powers to get yourself out of your head.

I listened to his transmissions, gripping on to them like they were my lifeline. They actually probably were. I grabbed on to them with my mind like ropes, letting them pull me to semi-consciousness. I focused on my memories of Fitz and Alden and their matching teal eyes, feeling my love for them and using it as fuel until I opened my own eyes to find those familiar ones staring back at me.

"Fitz?" I choked. He greeted me with a scream and a big bear hug.

"Oh my god Sophie. Don't ever, ever get guilty again. I thought you would end up like my dad, and if you're the only one who can save people, then we wouldn't be able to save you, and-"

"Shut up Fitz! She's here now." Biana interjected with a smile in my direction. I smiled back in a silent thank-you.

"I was..." I frowned, confused and dizzy.

"Yes. You were broken, just like I was." Alden commented as he strode into the room that I now recognized as the infamous Foster Center. "We knew we wouldn't be able to get you back, so we had to rely on your connection with Fitz to revive you." I looked over at Fitz's admiring eyes and watched him smilingly nod. Wait, since when was Fitz's gaze admiring?

"I just wanted you back because you're awesome, and I don't know what I'd do without you." He shrugged, looking down bashfully.

"Thanks Fitz," I replied, "I'm sorry this got so out of hand. I never meant for this to happen. My emotions got the best of me, I guess."

"Don't apologize, Sophie, his was nowhere near your fault. But I may have an idea of whose it truly is." Tiergan jumped in with a raised eyebrow my direction. I stayed quiet and looked down, hating that he knew.

"What are you talking about?" Fitz asked, suspicion clear in his voice.

"Nothing." I answered quickly before Tiergan could explain himself. "Tiergan is crazy and suspicious about nothing. Trust me."

I fell asleep again soon after our discussion, and eventually went home to Grady and Edaline. Alden and Fitz explained the situation as I trudged upstairs to bed. I was exaughsted, and fell asleep within seconds of my head touching the pillow. My nightmares were worse than ever.

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