Midnight Rendezvous: A SandRay Story

Chapter 11: Just An Idiot In Love

Ray's ROV

"I never lied to you Sand" I began. "Mew and I are just friends and whatever else, you and I are just friends too. Didn't we both agree on this?"

"We did and I also said I want to stop now" Sand answered.

I never thought a conversation could hit me like a ton of bricks, but there I was, standing in front of Sand, feeling the weight of his words sinking in. I could see the hurt in his eyes, the frustration, and the raw honesty that he had finally unleashed. I had thought we were on the same page, that our agreement to remain friends was mutual and would protect us from complications like this. But clearly, I had underestimated the depth of Sand's feelings.

As I stumbled through my response, I realized that Sand was not spouting nonsense; he was just baring her heart. The image of Mew and Top being affectionate with each other played in my mind like a broken record, and Sand's pain was palpable. It was like my own actions had caused a rift between us, one that I hadn't fully comprehended until this very moment.

My voice cracked as I spoke, my emotions a chaotic mess. "I really don't, Sand," I repeated, desperation edging into my words. "Would I be here trying to understand?" I wanted him to know that I was sincere, that I wasn't dismissing his feelings. But the more Sand spoke, the clearer it became that I had failed to see the gravity of the situation.

Sand's scoff and his candid words left me reeling. I had to catch my breath, to process what he was saying. He liked me. Not as a friend. My mind raced as I tried to wrap my head around his confession. It was as if a veil had been lifted, revealing a side of Sand I had never seen before.

"I liked you. I like you. Not as a friend," Sand's words echoed in the silence that followed. Hisr vulnerability hung in the air, and I felt a mixture of guilt and confusion. I had misread the signals, ignored the signs, and now we were standing on the precipice of change.

The ache in Sand's voice was impossible to ignore. He wasn't just hurt; he was wounded.

"I cannot play second to Mew anymore. I think academics is as far as I could allow that to happen." The way he spoke about being Mew's substitute was a stark reminder of how my actions had inadvertently hurt him. It was true, Mew had been my rock during some of the darkest moments in my life, and I had leaned on him heavily. But I had never considered the impact that might have on others around me.

Tears welled up in my eyes as Sand's words continued to pierce through my heart. The pain in his eyes mirrored my own, and I felt like I was drowning in a sea of regret. "But I never... I didn't mean for you to feel that way, Sand," I admitted, my voice laden with a mix of shock and remorse. I wanted to reach out to him, to pull him into an embrace, to somehow convey how sorry I was.

As Sand listened to me, his expression seemed to soften just a bit, as if he was absorbing my words and considering them. My heart pounded in my chest, and for a moment, the world seemed to stand still. It was in this suspended moment that I found the courage to lay my own feelings bare.

"Fine, you wanted to know if I liked Mew, yes I do," I confessed, my voice shaking with the admission. "I have for the longest time. He was the only one I had since my Mother and Sister passed away and my Dad decided he can't be with me because it's too painful a reminder of what he lost. Mew was there for me when no one else had and for that I will always love him."

My voice cracked again, the weight of my emotions threatening to overwhelm me. "But I know he doesn't feel the same for me, and I have long ago accepted that. We are just friends." It was painful to say those words out loud, to acknowledge the unrequited love that I had carried for so long. But I needed Sand to understand, to know the truth.

As Sand's gaze locked onto mine, I could see the turmoil in his eyes, the mixture of hurt and confusion. "This thing between us, I don't know how it got so complicated but here we are," I continued, my voice softer now. "I did not spend those weeks alone pining away for Mew. I spent it missing you, wishing you were there beside me."

It was like a dam had burst, and all the emotions I had suppressed came pouring out. "I don't know what this is, does this mean I like you more than a friend too? Cause I don't know," I admitted, my vulnerability laid bare. "I've never liked anyone but Mew. I don't even know how to navigate this now, but Sand... I wanna be with you. I need you here with me. I feel like I am about to go crazy with thoughts of you, of missing you. Please Sand. Can't you just help me figure this out? Can't we figure this out together?"

Tears streamed down my face, mingling with the rain that had started to fall outside. I could feel my heart racing, my chest tight with anticipation as I awaited Sand's response. Everything had come crashing down – the walls, the assumptions, the misunderstandings. And now, in the midst of the wreckage, all I could do was wait and hope that Sand would find it in his heart to forgive me and give us a chance to mend what was broken. I had been so focused on my own feelings and struggles that I had missed the bigger picture. Sand deserved better than feeling like an afterthought. He deserved to be a priority in my life, not just a secondary option.

Sand's POV

Well, ain't life just a wild roller coaster ride? One moment you're sure you've got it all figured out, and the next, the universe decides to throw you for a loop that leaves your stomach in knots and your heart racing like a rabbit chased by a hungry fox.

So, there I was, sitting on the edge of his frickin' bed, staring at Ray like he'd sprouted a second head. The guy had just dropped a bombshell so unexpectedly it hit me like a brick to the gut. Yeah, you heard me right - Ray, Mr. "I've-Got-an-Attitude-Bigger-Than-Texas," had just confessed that his feelings for me also went beyond the casual arrangement we'd agreed on.

I mean, whoa. Talk about a curveball, right? I had my guard up for so long, convinced that my feelings were safely tucked away and locked up. But hearing those words spill out of Ray's mouth, something inside me started to crumble. I couldn't help but look into those eyes of his, eyes that had a tendency to infuriate me and make me melt all at once.

"Sand, I know I've been an insensitive jerk," he said, his voice tinged with a mixture of regret and sincerity. "But it's not just about Mew. There's something more, something that's been eating at me even when we've been apart."

And there I sat, all my anger and resentment struggling to hold their ground against this confession. It was like the universe was testing me, challenging me to keep up my tough façade when all I wanted to do was run my fingers through his messy hair and tell him that it was gonna be okay.

He looked at me with those damn puppy-dog eyes, and I felt my walls crumbling faster than a sandcastle hit by a tidal wave. How the hell was I supposed to stay mad at a guy who was willing to bare his soul like this? It was like he'd reached inside me and tugged at something I didn't even know was there.

As he kept talking, admitting that he'd missed me during our time apart, I felt this knot forming in my throat. It was a mess of emotions - anger, confusion, longing, and a heavy dose of "What the hell do I do now?" But amidst it all, a realization hit me square in the chest: I wasn't just mad at him for hurting me. I was mad at myself for not admitting the truth all along.

Damn it, Sand. You've really gone and done it now, haven't you? My inner voice taunted me, the words echoing louder with each passing second. Because as much as I tried to hold onto my righteous anger, I couldn't escape the fact that Ray was my frick, as annoying and aggravating as he could be. And now, in this vulnerable moment, he was showing me a side I'd never seen before.

The tears welled up in his eyes, and I felt a sharp pang in my chest. His pain was becoming my pain, and that realization was a punch straight to my gut. It was like the universe had twisted everything upside down and inside out, and all I could do was hold onto the edge of the bed and hope I didn't fall off.

"You really are an idiot in love, Sand," I muttered to myself, letting out a shaky breath. But at that moment, it was a truth I couldn't deny. I was trapped in a mess of emotions, a whirlwind of feelings that I'd tried so damn hard to ignore. And as Ray's tears fell, each one felt like a tiny dagger piercing my heart.

I wanted to be strong, to keep up my walls and play the tough guy. But the truth was, the fight was seeping out of me, replaced by a flood of emotions that I couldn't contain. And as much as it hurt, I knew deep down that this was a battle I couldn't win.

Shit, I really had it bad.