Midnight Rendezvous: A SandRay Story

Chapter 8: Ill Advised Choices

Sand's POV

Lately, it appears my judgment has been clouded by a series of ill-advised choices. From that initial agreement with Ray on that fateful evening, to my subsequent agreements as he began to trail my every move, and then my decision to accompany him to his friend's gathering. Yet, the pinnacle of my terrible decisions, the one that truly takes the cake, is allowing myself to develop feelings for the very person who has proven himself to be nothing short of a nuisance.

Even prior to uncovering his affection for Mew, I was acutely aware that Ray and I were a collision of incompatible forces. Our disparities were too vast, too glaring to overlook. What exacerbates my vexation is my growing uncertainty about my ability to cease all contact with him. This is particularly true given his relentless pursuit, akin to some sort of maniacal obsession.

My blasted phone screen blazes with the venomous announcement of his name once more. This marks the third missed call from him within the past hour – provided, of course, I can muster the restraint to avoid answering his call.

It has been a full week since the night I made my swift exit from the club. I've employed every conceivable tactic to evade him. Skipping school, altering my shifts at the café where I'm employed, and even resorting to the pretense of a sore throat to excuse myself from gigs. I've willingly forsaken numerous commitments that my fragile finances cannot withstand, all in service to a contemptible individual who likely fails to grasp the financial ramifications of his actions. Yet, emotive indulgence is an unaffordable luxury for the destitute. I've resolved that confronting Ray is now imperative; this absurd situation, whatever it may be, must be terminated definitively.

As I belted out the final notes of our set this evening, I saw the embodiment of my exasperation swaggering toward the bar as if he owned the goddamned place. That familiar half-smirk etched upon his striking countenance. How can he appear so effortlessly alluring and indifferent when I've been utterly disheveled and unhinged throughout the entire week? The injustice of it all nearly compels me to believe that a solitary punch to his face wouldn't adequately quell my rage. I glared at him with fiery intensity, yet he gazed back with an air of either obliviousness to my internal turmoil, or perhaps indifference altogether.

As the song concluded, I hastened my exit from the stage, disappearing through the backdoor. I was in the midst of igniting a cigarette when the door swung open once more, revealing Ray and his insufferably self-assured demeanor. He stood with arms crossed, confronting me as though he were the injured party in this twisted scenario. God I really wish I could afford bail, so I could punch the lights out of this motherfucker just once, maybe I'd feel at least a little better about the whole mess.

Ray's POV

"I've finally managed to track you down! Why have you been avoiding me? Is this about last Friday when I left?" I questioned Sand while observing him inhaling from his cigarette. His response was silence, yet the expression etched on his face spoke volumes – he was undeniably furious.

"Listen, Sand, I had a bit too much to drink that night. I genuinely forgot I was with you and ended up going home. I apologize," I attempted to clarify, sensing the mounting tension.

"Yeah, sure," Sand retorted with a disdainful scoff, exhaling smoke through his nostrils. It was oddly mesmerizing, despite my irritation. It felt oddly relieving to finally see his face after tirelessly searching for him over the past week.

"What's with the game of hide and seek, Sand?"

"Just been busy. But seriously, why were you looking for me?" he shot back.

"Why? Because I've missed you. It's been a full seven days since we last saw each other. I miss my friend," I admitted, my frustration warring with the desire to reconnect.

"Ray, cut the crap. You mean you miss your fuck buddy, right? Couldn't you find someone else to fill that role? I think I'm done with this," Sand retorted before crushing his cigarette under his converse-clad heel and walking away.

"Wait a second, what do you mean, done?" I grasped his arm, utterly bewildered. "What's happening, Sand? We were doing fine last week, and now you vanish and declare it's over?"

"Ah, now it's my fault. Fine, then. I ghosted you. But let's be real, what are we? Just fuck buddies, right? I'm done with that, so go ahead, Ray. Leave me alone. I don't want anything to do with you anymore." Unconsciously, my grip on his arm tightened as I processed his words.

"What the hell changed? You can't just drop this bomb on me without a more valid reason than 'I'm done,' Sand. Last week, when you were having your way with me on that sofa, it certainly did not feel like that when you were fucking me in your sofa last week," anger surged within me, and I impulsively pushed him against a wall, capturing his lips in a forceful, almost bruising kiss. I exploited his momentary shock to deepen the kiss, the tongue action finally bought him out of his daze and he pushed me off him.

"Do you not understand my words, or do they not register in your vocabulary? I said I'm done, Ray," he asserted, shoving me away with more force than I had anticipated, causing me to stumble momentarily before regaining my balance.

"And I asked why," I countered, my frustration reaching a boiling point as I demanded an explanation.

"Because you're a clueless fool who should be pursuing Mew instead of chasing one of your fuck buddies like this. Why am I even part of this equation?" Sand spat out, grinding his cigarette beneath his shoe before he began to walk away.

"Hold on, why bring Mew into this conversation, Sand? I asked for a reason," I retorted, my confusion mounting.

"Because I'm not oblivious, Ray. It's clear as day that you're head over heels for your nerdy best friend. So why are we wasting our time like this? Why not channel your energy into confessing to Mew, rather than masking your jealousy with alcohol and shooting daggers at anyone who shows him attention? What kind of game are you playing? You love Mew, yet you want to keep me on the side? Am I just a substitute for your unrequited love, a placeholder until you gather the courage to confess to Mew? Meanwhile, I'm supposed to stick around as a friend? Well, it's not enjoyable to be invited to a party only to be ignored and forgotten completely because you're consumed by jealousy because someone else had the guts to pursue what they wanted while you remained cowardly."

This time, I refrained from stopping Sand as he walked away. It was unclear if I should, or even could. Never before had it crossed my mind that Sand could discern the truth I had painstakingly concealed from everyone else. How had he managed to unravel my facade in just one night, when I had spent so much time with Mew without ever arousing his suspicion? With Sand's words echoing in my ears, it was painfully evident that my elaborate charade had been shattered, much like a fragile glass protecting my heart.