Midnight Rendezvous: A SandRay Story

Chapter 15: Don't Say It

RAY's POV

So, waking up way past noon, I naturally reached for my phone, with the hope of finding a message from someone - Sand, Mew, Cheum, or maybe even all of them. But, to my surprise, there wasn't a peep in my notifications. No messages, nothing. It was eerily quiet, and that gnawing sense of worry started to creep in.

The first thing I did was try to call Sand. Maybe he'd have some answers, right? But there was no answer. My anxiety cranked up a notch. Next on my list was Cheum, so I gave her a ring. She answered, and from the weariness in her voice, it was clear she'd been dealing with a lot.

"Mew's still not talking about it," she said, her tone this mix of frustration and concern. "But at least he's eating, and he's out on the balcony now."

I breathed a sigh of relief. At least Mew was taking care of himself somewhat. "I'll head over later," I assured her. But I had something I needed to take care of first, something that couldn't wait.

Cheum, always understanding, offered to cover my shift the next day, saying she could spend the night with her girlfriend, giving me the space I needed. It was that kind of friendship where words weren't necessary, and I appreciated it more than I could express.

Figuring that the best place to find Sand at this hour was the café where he worked, I finally managed to drag myself out of bed. The café was bustling, and Sand was right there in the middle of it all. He was his usual charming self, making small talk with customers, flashing that million-dollar smile, and even flirting a little with some high school girls. Seriously, I felt a twinge of sympathy for them. Sand was like a charismatic black hole - you couldn't help but get drawn into his orbit. It was no wonder the café owner loved having him around.

Summoning my own charm, I strolled up to the counter where Sand was working. "Americano, please," I said, turning on the flirtatious charm, leaning in just a tad closer with a wink. "And if the barista happens to come with it, well, that's a bonus."

But Sand didn't play along like he usually did. He just mechanically gave me the total and asked me to wait. It was weird, a far cry from our usual banter. And that knot in my gut got tighter as I sensed that something was way off.

When he handed me my drink, he exchanged a few words with a coworker before taking off his apron and walking out of the café. I figured that was my cue, so I followed him outside, fully aware that there was something big brewing.

"What are you doing here?" Sand asked when he turned to face me, and his expression was like a fortress - guarded and distant.

"I got home, and you weren't there," I said, my voice heavy with frustration. "I crashed out because I was dead tired, and now I'm here to find you."

"Did you expect me to just hang around, waiting for you to show up whenever you felt like it?" Sand's irritation was pretty evident, and his eyes hardened as he spoke.

"I'm sorry, Sand," I replied, trying to make him understand. There was all this tension hanging between us, unspoken words that needed airing out. Something had clearly gone wrong while I was gone.

And then, he started to walk away. That was when I made a move, grabbing his arm to stop him. "You're clearly not okay," I said, my voice sincere, my grip gentle but firm.

SAND'S POV

So, I finally decided that confronting this mess was the only way to go. My nerves were all over the place, but I knew I had to get this off my chest. I couldn't keep going around in circles, feeling like I was the one getting dizzy.

"I'm just so damn tired, Ray," I admitted. "This whole situation is exhausting, you know? Every time we talk about this, it's like I'm spinning in circles, and it's always me who ends up feeling lost and disoriented. If I argue with you and tell you I'm mad because it feels like I'll never be your top priority, I don't think it's fair. You tell me you have feelings for me, and maybe you do, but they could never compete with your feelings for Mew. I just can't keep adding more chaos to my already messed-up life. I can't handle whatever the heck this relationship is."

Yeah, I know I might sound insecure and unreasonable right now, but I can't help it. On top of all my own personal chaos, I can't help but think about Nick and Mew. I imagine the pain they're going through, and I'm pretty sure Mew needs Ray right now more than ever. I'm reminded why it's never a great idea to be the one who's deeply invested in a relationship. You often end up getting hurt and left behind. And I don't want Ray to be the one leaving me when he goes back to Mew. So, I'm taking this chance to save myself from the heartache later.

Ray's gaze is intense, and it's clear he knows where I'm headed, but he's probably hoping I'm not really going there.

"What are you trying to say, Sand?" he asks, those eyes of his pleading with me not to say what he thinks I'm going to say.

I take a deep breath and lay it out there. "I think I need a break from this, Ray. Call it bad timing or whatever, but you know everything's a chaotic mess right now. Mew needs you, doesn't he? Maybe something good could come out of all this, right? Wouldn't it be easier if we just stop this for now?"

Ray's face is a mess of confusion and betrayal. I don't want to look into his eyes because they have this way of making me cave at the slightest hint of pleading. I have to stick to my resolve. I felt the agony of waiting and feeling uncertain and scared last night. I know Ray's feelings for Mew run deep, and now that he's clearly available, I'd rather bow out now than torture myself later.

He tries to say something, but all that comes out is a weird, choked-up sound. After staring at me for a few more seconds, he gets up and walks out of the café, maybe out of my life altogether. I slump against the wall, feeling every ounce of strength drain from my body. Why does love always have to be so damn hard and painful?