Scars

A Mental Scar

Nov.5, 1985: Psychiatric Hospital

Billy sat at the edge of his bed. He still had on his hospital gown and pants.

He didn't want to leave.

He finally felt safe and that he had people who cared.

Then it happened. One of the nurses shouted loudly, sending Billy spiraling back to that night.

He tried his counting exercise but it didn't work.

The room turned into his old room. Neil and Susan just barged in and his father was pissed because Max was gone.

Neil called him a faggot for the hundredth time and hit him. After making Billy apologize to Susan for insulting her he told Billy to go and find Max.

With a black ring around his right eye, Billy finally found where Max was hiding.

His anger leaked out and he flew off the hinges.

First at Harrington then at the Sinclair Kid which he learned was founded in a racial bias he didn't even realize he had.

Then the plate hit the back of his head. Memories flew at him of having to hit his own father over the head for hurting his mom.

The fight turned back to Harrington and that's when Max drugged him.

He was proud and frightened. He didn't want her to turn out like him and she was starting to.

Then the sheriff and doctors and then lockdown.

The first few months were hell. He fought against everything they tried to do but slowly and surely he worked with them.

The risperidone and clozapine were working wonders helping keep him calm.

Along with the therapy sessions and breaking down the linear cause of his frequent outbursts he has been able to continuously get better.

Also, the feeling of being cared about helped. He found having people who believed in him and wanted him to succeed pushed him to want to succeed.

Billy's hospital room slowly came back into view. He had another episode so maybe he could stay longer. The fact no one had ever visited him in the twelve months he was here proved he had nothing outside these walls.

He pushed the nurse's button.

An older woman named Jane came in and asked "What's the problem, Billy? Why aren't you dressed?"

"Jane I had another episode when I heard yelling and I don't feel that I have the support outside these walls to leave just yet. Can I speak to my therapist?" Billy said honestly, his blue eyes welling up with tears. Another thing he learned was ok, it was ok to cry.

Jane went over and sat next to Billy on his bed and put an arm around him.

"I will get your therapist but you are stronger than you believe. Also, I have a good friend who would be more than willing to let you stay with him. His name is Wayne Munson and he has been taking care of his nephew for quite some time now and wouldn't mind at all another kid in need. Will you meet with him"? Jane asked, giving him her warm smile and another hug.

Billy took a deep breath and nodded.

"Great I will call Wayne and have him come down and we can all chat. Now get dressed and smile because you have a beautiful one" Jane said and headed out of the room shutting the door behind her.

Billy looked at the khaki pants and shirt that one of the nurses had brought for him when he noticed Billy nervously looking at his own clothes.

Changing into the new clothes Billy felt like crying again. He didn't want to leave his family. They have all told him he can visit whenever he wants and he even got a few of their numbers to call in case he needs to talk.

An hour later his therapist, Jane and Wayne Munson were all sitting in his room.

"Billy, I'm Wayne. I would love to have you stay with Eddie and me. They've explained what you've been through and I think we have the right environment for you" Wayne said softly.

Billy looked between Jane and his therapist.

"Billy I know you're afraid to leave because you finally feel safe so here's the deal I want to make you.

If you go stay with Wayne and if after a month things are slipping back to the way they were we will have you come back.

I just feel as though you would do better out there. I think you could make some friends and your own family outside these walls but now you know you always have a place to come back too.

Will you be willing to try"? His therapist asked gently.

Billy nodded.
Ok
"Well then shall we get your things and show you your new home," Wayne said, offering Billy a hand.

"All I have is those clothes and my wallet," Billy said shyly as he took Wayne's hand.

"How about we take you shopping for some clothes? First, we need to swing by the trailer because Eddie could use some as well so we will pick him up and then go if that's ok with you," Wayne asked.

Billy nodded, hugged both Jane and his therapist and after they made an appointment for him to come see the therapist again in two weeks and got his prescriptions filled to take at home he and Wayne headed out to his truck.

To his surprise, Max and Hopper pulled up just as they were exiting the building.

Wayne had Billy get into the truck and went over to talk to Hopper and Max.

When Wayne got in he said "I made plans for us all to have dinner in a couple nights as soon as you're settled in".

Billy nodded and waved at Max who unexpectedly waved back as they pulled out and headed for Billy's new home.