Sister Wife

Jealousy

"It's not fair!" Hope actually stamps her foot after Justin explains his plan. I knew she would be upset. It's hard to look at her.

"What do you mean?" Justin asks.

"Why should Charlotte get to do it?" Hope demands, her voice rising. "I'm the second wife, technically the first wife if you're really letting Selena go. I should get to be the public face of this family."

"Your priority is being a mother to Isaiah," Justin reminds her.

"Oh and why couldn't I be both? Is that all I am now? A baby factory?" Hope bursts into tears. "I knew this would happen, I just knew it. Once you have one that's all you're good for. No wonder you're taking those sinful pills, Charlotte," she snaps at me. I try to keep myself calm.

"If you want to go on the pill you can, it's completely up to you," Justin says. "You're not a baby factory, Hope, but Charlotte is going to be my girlfriend no matter what."

"But why?" Hope's face is all red. "Why should she be? She's no one special. Just because she's skinny and pretty."

"Hope, stop," Justin shakes his head.

"No! I worked my ass off to keep from gaining even as much as an ounce more than I needed to while I was pregnant and I've kept working ever since Isaiah was born to lose all of it and you're still going to pick her over me?" Hope lets out an actual shriek. "It's not fair!"

"Okay, Charlotte, take Isaiah upstairs?" Justin gives me a pleading look. I scoop up the baby and head up to his nursery.

With the door closed I don't have to hear the rest of the fight that happens when I'm gone. At least I can't hear exactly what they're saying. I just hear Hope's voice getting more and more hysterical and Justin's staying steady and calm.

Isaiah starts to get fussy but he's easily distracted by his toys. He looks exactly like Hope and it's really sweet. I can only pray he doesn't have to live with her insanity for most of his life. Every time I think her therapy is helping there's a fight like this one.

Of course now it all makes sense to me - Hope's exercise classes that seemed to last hours and forcing herself to go for 5 mile runs. I'd told myself maybe she just liked to exercise but now I'm seeing it in a completely different way. She was so upset that time Justin and I were stalked by the photographers and they said I looked like a lingerie model.

But what I don't understand is whether or not Hope has feelings for Justin. She never seems to act like she does but then why would she want to be his girlfriend in front of all the cameras? Why would she care that I was doing it instead? So maybe there's part of her deep down that really does like him in some way.

Eventually everything downstairs gets quiet. I stay with Isaiah, waiting for someone to come tell me it's okay to stop hiding. But it's not until he starts to cry that Hope comes upstairs. She seems calm now, like her tantrum is long over.

"He's just hungry," she says as I hand him over. "We'll come down when I'm through feeding him."