Unrealistic expectations

Chapter 5

I unlock the door to my room and walk in, I grab my towel and shower cubby as I walk down to the girls bathrooms.

I walk into the shower room and place my things down and lock the door. I turn on the shower but as I carry on with my shower I hear a group of the girls walk in snickering.

"Omg did you hear that apparently the new girl ,Athena has an eating disorder?" One said. "Yea I did hear that ,it's so embarrassing" another said giggling.

They carry on talking as I shower, fighting back tears. I turn off the shower grab my stuff and walk out without looking at them but they see me. They stand there in silence with what I'm sure ,regret plastered across their faces.

Before I walk out, I turn around to face them. " before you spread shit about other people that you don't know, think about how this can come back to bite you. Your nothing but pathetic."I announce with no emotion on my face.

I walk out heading straight for my dorm ignoring everyone. "Hey... Athena you good?"Haven asks as I walk past her not taking my eyes of the same spot.

I walk into dorm and slam the door with full force, I stand frozen in the middle of the silent room and all I can hear the voices screaming in my head, the girls in the bathroom ,their comments repeat and repeat in my head. 'That's so embarrassing' 'eating disorder'. Laughter all around, I fall to my knees as tears stream down my face. I never cry , I don't let myself cry, until now.

Hearing the girls say that broke something in me. I came here for a fresh start ,for something new but instead not even a couple days in and people know. People know about my disorder but was I going to agree and say that I do? No , I could never put my problems in someone else's hands.

TIME SKIP

It's 5 pm and I'm going down for dinner. My eyes red and sore, I tried to cover up the redness under my eyes with concealer but it didn't work.

I reach the cafeteria and walk over to Haven who is sitting with the guys.
"Hey Athena!"Haven yells as I approach her.

"Hi guys" I say blankly

"What's up, you look horrible."Damien questions. "Nothing thanks for the compliment."I answer back with a laugh as I sit down across Haven.

"What's everyone been up to?"i break the silence. The all answer normally expect Chris who decides to mock my British accent but fails. Miserably.

"Chris that was horrible"Haven says while looking at me and laughing. All of us laugh at Chris' ridiculous attempt. As we laugh and smile carrying on our conversation all having a good time while eating our dinner the group of girls from the bathroom come up to our table.

"Hi Athena ,we wanted to say sorry about... you know."one says nervously. "Excuse me?"i say with anger building through me, knowing exactly what they are on about I carry on looking at them with a blank stare."we just wanted to say sorry "another erupts from the group. I open my mouth to reply but someone beats me to it. "You think sorry cuts it? You think sorry would fix everything?if I was you I'd walk away before things get worse." It was Grayson. Grayson Everette defending me? I thought he hated me. The girls turn away knowing they don't want to push it with Grayson.

"Uhhh...what was that about?" Asher asks. "Nothing"I reply before anyone else could.

The rest of dinner was awkward as we all knew something was wrong. However Haven and Chris' connected golden retriever personalities make us laugh a couple of times breaking the silence.

"Well I don't know about you's but I am stuffed so I'm heading out." Damien speaks out as Haven , Asher and Chris agree and follow out with Damien. I go to stand up but Grayson grabs my hand making me sit down back in the seat I was in. The seat next to him.

"Are you on something? Let go physco!"I yell trying to stand up. "Sit down and eat Chapman."there was something scary in his tone."who do you think you are?"i shout back at him.

"Do you think I'm stupid? I noticed the first night you were here that you didn't eat, let's not forget today at the rink when you got so dizzy you almost fell. Yes it's normal to get dizzy but not every single time you stand up chapman."he scoffed.

"Now please for the love of god eat. Please" he begged, Grayson Everette was begging me to do something. "If you won't do it for me do it for Haven."he continues "do it for Astrid."he pleads

I sit back down without a word and I pick up my fork and stare at the food feeling a wake of nausea.
"You can do this, no one else is here." he says like he can also hear all the voices echoing in my head.

After eating half of my chicken I couldn't stop the feeling. The feeling of which I can't fight back.

I jump out of my seat and run towards the doors entering the dark gloomy hall walls as Grayson follows behind "Athena?!"he yells ,somehow ,I can tell he has at least and ounce of worry in his voice.

I reach the girls bathroom after running faster than I ever have. Barge through the door and drop on my knees as I just reached the toilet just in time. Tears that I can't hold back run down my face. "It's okay ,don't worry you did your best, I'm proud of you chapman." He says as he holds my hair back.

After what felt like forever I pull back falling against the floor knees crouched ,folded against my stomach as I wipe my mouth.

Grayson sits down next to me. Not talking ,instead comforting me with his presence.

"You don't have to worry, I stopped the stupid rumour before it got out. "He states. Looking at me. His grey eyes burning into mine. "Thank you."i whisper "but why?why do you keep helping me, you hate me don't you?"I say shakily. Curiosity filling my mind.

"Because I know it sucks ,changes you ,both ways mentally and physically for the worst."he says blankly but I could tell he regretted what he said.

"You..I'm sorry I had no idea." I reply. "No no it's fine ,it was a while ago." He says still facing me. Our eyes still burning into each others, full of emotion words can't express.

"I was alone, I hated everyone still do but then i met Damien. He helped me. I still owe him for it but I truly know nothing will ever fully pay back for what he did."he spoke sincerely.

"Sometimes meeting that one person really changes everything."I state. "It really does," he answers back.

He gets up putting his hand out in front of me, I put my hand in his lifting me up from the floor. "When ever you need someone I'm here..."
"And in public we're enemies" i finish his sentence. "Sure " he says as he laughs and I laugh in reply. "Comon"Grayson states.

I follow him out and we walk towards the dorms. "Your south hall?" I question. "Yep , it's pretty much the worst hall including eastern" he replies. "How come?"
"Well it's fully of boys who smoke and drink every time of the day" he announces and he smirks "huh,I wasn't expecting that ,how do they not get caught?" I ask

"Money is an answer to everything. They pay off the hall inspectors." Grayson laughs "well I'll see you tomorrow enemy" I say with a smirk across my face. " see you tomorrow chapman" as he turns to walk to southern I say "hey Grayson? Thank you"

"For what?"he says giving me a look. I know immediately that my secrets safe with him. I feel like bricks have been lifted off my shoulders as I walk in and head up to my dorm.

I lay onto my bed, looking up at the ceiling. I grab my headphones off my desk and connect them to my phone. As I blast music in my ears realisation hits.

I cried, in front of Grayson.

Grayson fucking Everette saw me cry.