You're the Reason the Sun Sets and the Moon Rises - Seongjoong

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Is this what love has to offer?

Pain.

Anger.

It was pathetic to think he could experience such an emotion so freely. He should've known that love had its disadvantages; he knew that from counseling so many people, and all he could ever tell them was that they needed to move on and set themselves free. Life didn't revolve around love, and fixing yourself first is a main priority. Oh, how he detested his own advice.

How could he tell people such lies?

Just how?

He remembered crying himself to sleep that night from utter heartbreak. It hurt so badly that he couldn't even come in to work. He explained to his boss of some issues he was dealing with, and he understood.

If only he knew it was a simple heartbreak. Oh, he'd definitely kick him in the butt for that.

The images kept replaying in his head over and over again. It burned him so badly, and he wasn't sure how to extinguish the fire. None of his advice worked. It was stupid after all.

He wondered how he managed to get his degree when he couldn't even express love. He wondered what they saw in him to allow him a job as a psychotherapist at a private hospital. It plagued him.

What was it?

...

As the days rolled by, he refused to respond to any of Seonghwa's texts. It hurt him, knowing that he would hurt Seonghwa as a result, but his heart needed a break.

Though he wanted to stop this behavior of his. Just because Seonghwa found someone to kiss and hug, which wasn't him, shouldn't bother him. If anything, he should be glad that he has finally moved on from his past and is trying to love once more. He wanted to be happy, but he couldn't seem to force his smile.

Why does love have such effects?

It would've been best if he had never picked up that diary. He should've walked right past it instead of growing curious.

Why am I so dramatic?

He felt so stupid for thinking like this. I mean, it was stupid. Love was stupid. People are stupid. Life is stupid.

It's just overwhelming. Too much to bear.

"Fuck this." He hit his head on the desk as he thought of his beautiful smile and his eyes, which shone brightly with the entire universe residing within them.

Curse him for being so damn attractive. Curse him.

"Seonghwa." He sobbed after realizing that he might lose him forever. His stupidity has caused all of this in the first place.

They could've been together, eating ice cream while watching cheesy soap operas on Seonghwa's sofa. They could've roamed the mall together while judging the ridiculous clothing from the expensive shops. They could've. They should've.

Knock, knock, knock!

The loud bangs on his door startled him out of his thoughts. Who could that be? At 8 p.m. as well.

Curious yet scared at the same time, he walked towards the door. His steps were slow, still a little scared of what might be behind it.

What if it was a serial killer?

What if he...

"Open up Hongjoong. I know you're there."

Seonghwa.

He actually came. Hongjoong had a sneaking suspicion that he might have gotten tired of him for his immaturity, and would just give up on him. That's what he thought, but it seemed Seonghwa had other ideas tonight. He sounded very angry.