My Life: Fading Flames

Chapter 5: Weight

The next morning, I woke up at five. I immediately went to my phone to check Noah's messages.

"I've read through your messages many times for the past two hours," he said, "And you're the biggest overthinker I've ever met."

"You know, I can't even take care of myself properly, constantly thinking of suicide, and I still have to fucking take care of you. Every time I do that, I have to leave myself, and I'm just miserable, taking care of everyone but not myself."

"I know you're trying your best, because who isn't? Okay, I think I'm not capable of life, like I'm not good, not enough for anyone. I suck, you should have a better man, not me. Yeah, seriously, I suck."

"You should find someone better. I'm useless as fuck, I'm just an idiot, who can't even take care of myself and the ones I love. I don't even love myself or care for myself. Goodnight."

I feel my whole world collapsing.

"But, there's no better man," I answered, "Well, you made that decision at night, and people often make emotional decisions at night. I'll let you decide again."

I'm giving him, or both of us, a very, very last chance. I hope that I can save this.

I thought to myself as I stared at the messages on my phone. The weight of Noah's words hung heavy in the air, and I knew that our relationship was at a crucial crossroads.

After a few moments of contemplation, I began to type a response, my fingers tapping on the screen with a mix of determination and apprehension.

"Noah, I understand that you're feeling overwhelmed and struggling right now. But remember, we're in this together. I'm here for you, just as you've been here for me. We both have our challenges, but that doesn't mean we can't support each other through them."

I paused, taking a deep breath before continuing.

"It's okay to have moments of doubt and insecurity, but I believe in us. Let's work through these feelings together. We can learn and grow from them. And please, don't feel like you have to carry the weight of everything on your shoulders alone."

As I hit send, a mixture of anxiety and hope washed over me. I knew that these words were just the beginning of a difficult conversation, one that would require open hearts and vulnerability. But I was willing to put in the effort, to fight for the connection we had built over time.

Now, all I could do was wait for his response, hoping that he would be willing to take that chance, to believe in us as much as I did. The next steps were uncertain, but I was determined to navigate them together, no matter how challenging they might be.