What was I made for ?..

But my hands been broken one too many times

I slipped on a white jumpsuit, paired with a papaya cropped knit sweater. Papaya shoes and bag to match.

I put light curls into my hair and tie half of it up. Letting two pieces fall down my face. I put more makeup that usual on, attempting to mask all the trauma written over my face.

Before I leave I take a few selfies and upload them to my instagram story. Tagging Charles and Ferrari to show my support. Since dating Charles I still never cared for social media. My platforms grew massively but I still only followed my close university friends and the drivers.

I call a cab at the front desk and head to the track. I walk through security and head straight towards the Ferrari hospitality, completely ignoring the McLaren garage.

If I see him, I'd break and right now all eyes are on me. It's lights camera action. Smiles. Waves. Photos with fans and more importantly Charles. My husband he was the reason I was here today. He's my main priority.

As soon as I get to the garage I run straight up to him. He was with Andrea his trainer. I wrapped my arms around him and placed kiss on his lips.

"I've missed you cha"

"I've missed you too Cheri"

We stay in each others embrace until Andrea coughs. "Sorry Andrea" we both say. I go over and place to kisses onto Andreas cheeks before asking about his day. He informs me on Charles schedule of the day and invited me and Charles to lunch with him and a few members of the team.

Charles had politely agreed for the both of us and I was happy to do so. I needed him to help me forget. To forget him.

"Are you nervous?" It's only qualifying but in the time I've known Charles he's one of the most nervous people. He worry's that he will never meet anyone's standards and my heart breaks for the boy. The people who surround him put so much pressure on him that when he finally breaks, I don't think I'd ever be able to fix him.

Even though it's only an act, I do have feelings for this boy. Whilst it's different to what I feel for lando. I could never see him hurt. I made a vow. I've already broken one but from this day forward, I will stand by this man.

Lando leaving and writing me that letter made me realise that. If he would've stayed so would I... but he left.

"No" he says. "I've got you here, the woman I've been dreaming of for so many months, with you finally by my side I can do anything." A gentle kiss is placed on my lips and I can't help but smile.

I turn to the side and I see it, me and him on the screens a camera man capturing this whole interaction. If Ferrari want me to look happy, let them watch this.

I cup his stubbled jaw, look straight into his emeralds eyes and passionately kiss him. The kiss was no longer just lust but one of a deeper feeling. I break away and smile at him and then at the camera.

Was I performing then or did I want to kiss him?

"That's for luck" I say smiling at my boy.

"Thank you" he says before being called to his engineers.

Whilst he's busy I go around the paddock taking a stroll, I find myself gravitating towards the spots where I know he could be. I see Oscar heading towards me a concern look over face.

"Hey have you spoken to lando today, he's locked himself in his room and won't speak to anyone." The Aussie asked.

"I did this morning briefly, but he's not talking to me either..." I say looking down. The Aussie is still stood before me looking for answers. "I ... I ... I..." i keep stuttering not able to find the words I want to say. "I don't think we're friends anymore." I finally managed to get out.