What was I made for ?..

So im leaving out the side door.

Mila POV

I wake up to my head snuggled into landos chest. I try to move myself out of his arms, but my movements earn groans from the Brit.

"Just five more minutes" a deep British accent says. God his morning voice...

His arms tighten around me and I put my head back on his chest. This is the warmth in what love should feel like. His body radiated everything good and pure. I just wished he was Charles...

Shit.

Charles.

I'm just as bad as he is. He's going to hate us. As amazing as it feels being here my guilt begins to sink in.

My eyes begin to water.

"Lans... you need to shower" I say laughing trying to hide my current emotions.

"Ugh you're right, todays a big day. " his morning voice was still strong and just as attractive.

He places a kiss on my forehead and leaves to her to the shower.

10 minutes later he returns to the bedroom. His torso on display as a white towel hangs over his waist.

"Wow." A whisper escapes my lips.

My cheeks grow pink as he hears me. He turns his head towards me before placing a kiss on my lips.

I pull away the guilt from earlier still growing inside.

He looks at me with concern and then realised what my action meant.

"Charles?" He asks

"He's still my husband lando..." I say my voice breaking and tears gushing out of my eyes.

"I know how I felt last night, and how I felt with you. Lans I wanted you... but I have to stand by my husband. I can't let my feelings for you coke in the way of me and him. He really needs me right now... I'm so so sorry Lans."

I say crying into my hands unable to look at the boy who is my world before me.

"Hey, Bella... it's ok. It was me too. Even though I wanted you, I don't think this would've happened if it wasn't for all the wine." He says looking sad.

"Thank you lando" I say wrapping my arms around his neck and pulling him into the longest hug.

When I pull away again that's when I see it. The marks I've left all over his body. His neck and chest covered in marks from my kisses, and his back imprinted with my touch.

I place my forehead on his.

"Lan this is never how I wanted this to happen. Whilst it may be seen as a mistake it wasn't for me. I really do want and need you... I just can't."

He nods his head in agreements before ushering me to the bathroom.

"You need to shower too." He says, a smile finally appearing once again. He closes the door and leaves me with my thoughts.

As I'm in the shower, a flow of lyrics start to come to me. Whilst racing, cars and engineering was my true passion. Whenever my feelings were too strong I'd sing. I always have since I was a little girl. Lost boy was my medicine, it allowed me to pour out all my emotions without knowing noticing. All the boys use to be annoyed by my singing. If only they understood.

That's when they poured out...

"Ceilings, plaster
Can't you just make it move faster?
Lovely to be sitting here with you
You're kinda cute but it's raining harder
My shoes are now full of water
Lovely to be rained on with you
It's kinda cute "

Why couldn't I have married lando... would he be the same as Charles if he was in this situation with me. Would Charles be my knight in shining armour.

My thoughts consume me, before I know it I've been in the shower for thirty minutes. I leaves the steamed up room to find myself alone.

Lando has laid some of his clothes on the bed for me alongside a note. I dry off and change into his clothes. His scent all over them. I find comfort in them. He's the one...

Once I'm fully dry I open the note... and that's when my head breaks.

'To my Bella,

This is the hardest thing I've ever had to do. Writing this letter and walking out of this door is either going to be my biggest mistake or my biggest reward.

Bells, you've woken up something in me that I never thought I'd feel again. You've brought back a warmth and spark that I've been missing. In just a short time you've made me a better man, and I hope that once you finish this letter you'll be proud of the man I will become.

As much as I wanted to stay and wait for you, your time in the shower made me realise you're not mine. You're not mine to hold, to keep or to love. You're his...

Your voice is still beautiful by the way.

I hope one day you'll see me in the light that I see you, but I need to let you figure that out on your own. I want you to explore the world, make friends, find new experiences. Whether it's with me or him you will. You'll get everything amazing in this world but you deserve it.

I am sorry for leaving and saying goodbye through this letter, but I think you need time to figure out your mind. This isn't what love is suppose to feel like, it's never meant to end in tears... im sorry I couldn't show it to you.

Hopefully this won't be our goodbye, but just a I'll see you later. You're going to always be the missing piece of me.

Goodbye,

My Bella 🧡

P.s. I've not stopped thinking about you since the day I met you those months ago.

My heart is broken.