What was I made for ?..

Somewhere in the haze, got a sense I'd been betrayed

"Please Mila, just tell me the truth, why do you have this photo, and don't lie and say Charles is in the photo because I know he's not... it's a photo of me, Max, George, Alex and a girl I once knew and loved."

I could see the tears start to form in his eyes.

Loved.

"you're right." Is all I managed to say.

"Im right? Im right about what Mila, tell me!" His voice getting louder.

"Lando calm down... you're scaring me."

"Im scaring you, how am I scaring you? You're the one who has a photo of me and my friends that only we know about. About a person only we know about, a person who went missing. She and this is not common knowledge so fucking enlighten me Mila."

I knew already that he had figured it all out, he just wanted me to tell him, to put him out of his misery and admit that it was me but could I do it?

I could see his rage build up more and more the longer it took me to answer. I could either tell him the truth and lose him, knowing already the feeling of neutral taking over him, or lying and still loosing in him, because how would he ever look at me the same knowing I was the girl who hurt all of his friends all that time ago.

"I think you already know Lando..." I say shakily.

"Know what Mila?" I could feel his gaze burning into me.

"Who I really am." I say now crying too.

"I don't think I do Mila, I think you're a scared little girl, who ran a way breaking the hearts of everyone who loved her. I think you're a selfish person to think its ok to come back after all this time, and prance around in front of us, in front of your father. How stupid do you have to be to realise you killed apart of us all that day. Bell... Mila I thought you were dead."

He breaks, the boy finally falls apart in front of me crashing onto my bedroom floor and he had every right too. I broke him along time ago, its only right I'm the one to glue all the pieces back together again.

"I didn't have a choice Lando, Just like everything with Charles, I had no choice. Please look at me Lando, I will answer any question you know, but you have to promise me something." I say cupping his angelic face in my palms.

"What is the promise Mila?" His dark eyes, looking right into mine.

"That you can't tell Charles, Toto or anyone. If you agree I can tell you why, but if you leave now and tell the world, you will make me disappear forever, and once again it wouldn't be my choice..." I swallow, knowing the reality of the situation now, my covers blown if Lando even mentions Mila Wolff the girl who vanished, this time she will mostly die this time. I. gulp at my thoughts, and begin to panic.

My heart begins to race and my breathes quicken. I can feel lando pull me into his chest, even though he hated me right now, he couldn't leave me alone not like this and not without answers.

Finally my panic attack has passed me and Lando were still in the same positions only floor.

"Talk when you're ready Mila..." He says.

"So you promise, you promise me you won't say anything." I plead at the boy.

"I promise, but look Toto already has his suspicions, we've been working together trying to figure you out. Charles too, everything you'd do the boy analyses. We all know, we're all just too scared to admit or ask for the truth, scared to be disappointed with the answer."

His honest words stab me like a knife, my heart truly shattering right now. I knew he was right, I knew that they knew, all their remarks and all the links they had made between us, I was naive to think, that id always be able to keep this secret.