What was I made for ?..

Here i am alone between the heavans and the embers

Not Mila's POV

I had kept myself busy. Kept my self surrounded. I needed to be consumed within work and social activities. I needed my mind to stay busy and unfocused on the one thing that was un-erasable.

Her.

Everything came back to her. Even in her absence and silence, she was everywhere.

I had spent the day training. Pushing myself to the limit, making sure I am the best I could be before the season re-started. I needed to be stronger. I needed a reason to fight now that she will no longer be there watching us all.

She was gone.

She had been discharged from the hospital and she was truly gone.

No one had heard anything. Not that I am aware of anyway.

I begin the pack away my training gear as I hear my phone vibrate.

I had a weird gut feeling to check it immediately and I was right to. It was her. She had reached out to me. I open our chat to see what she had said.

'You have been invited to attend the funeral of Genevieve Saint. In France on Thursday at 1:30pm. I hope this invitation finds you well.

Please do not respond to this message as this number will no longer be in service.

Thank you.

Goodbye.

I love you.'

Her words were focused and to the point. Not letting anything personal slip. At least she was ok.

My mind was torn and I was so unsure of what this text meant. Was it really meant to for me? Is she sure she wants to see me? Will she even be there?

Questions flooded me. I was dumbfounded. I close my phone allowing some time to process.

"Are you ok? It looks as if you've seen a ghost." I hear my friend ask.

"Yeah, I'm fine. Just trying to plan my week ahead that's all..." I reply.

"Well you've been training hard. I'm sure the team wouldn't mind you taking a little break. Why don't you go away for a few days, give yourself some time. You need it." They say.

They were right. I did need it. But do I go to her or do I run in the opposite direction. There are so many feelings at play here. I don't know what the right choice would be.

"You're right. I'll consider it." As I say this they go back to their own workout, their focus no longer on me.

The singular focus I now have being on her. The one thing I tried to escape. Do I go? Or do I not?