I thought I could trust you || Tom Kaulitz & Bill Kaulitz

i'm a monster

A few days went by, i didn't talk to tom these past days. "Eleyn, can we talk please?" Bill begged me. I didn't say a word. I didn't talk to any of them in these past days, only ayla. I think she already told them what we talked about, that i would never forgive tom ever again and that i want to get away from here. I can't stand them anymore, seeing tom kissing other girls, he exactly knows that i became feelings for him, i know it. I don't want to have these type of feelings for him, i just wish i had never met him, or any of them. It was only Ayla's fault that we are here now, if she never went with bill this all wouldn't happened.

"Eleyn come out there please!" Ayla begged me now like everyone else. "No! i already told you i'm not coming out there, i'd rather die." i yelled at her. "Then do it, die! like you always wanted to, you always said you'll never give up, but look at you now. what happened to you!" Then i lost it. I ran towards the door and punched her right on her temple. she fell to the ground and whined in pain. she screamed for bill while i punched her again and again. I always told myself to protect ayla from everyone, but now I am the one to hurt her. Bill and Tom came running in our direction and Tom smashed a bottle across my face. I fell on the ground beside her. "What the fuck eleyn! Are you going insane!?" Tom and bill yelled at me. Now i realised what I actually did. I hurt my bestfriend.

I tried to look up at them, Ayla was close in bill's arm and they all looked at me as if i was the monster. as if i was the one that hurts everyone here, no one gives a shit here what tom does, just because he's the leader. Bill is the complete opposite, even if they are twins. Bill would never do something like what tom does, And Tom doesn't even feel guilty for it. He never really apologised to me, neither did he care for me. I stood up and walked into my room again, i pulled out a bag with all my stuff and packed my things, i'm getting out of here. I always promised myself to get ayla with me, but i guess it's not happening. She's happy with bill and hates me now, i hurt her and she will never forgive me for that.

Suddenly somebody knocked on the door, I didn't react. I stood still in the middle of the room and looked outside the window, seeing my freedom i didn't feel for a long time. It knocked again, twice this time. I opened the door slowly and saw tom standing there, with puffy eyes and tears slowly running down his cheeks. "Eleyn i'm sorry. I really am." "It's too late now. You never cared for me or for what i felt, all you ever did was hurt me and you smashed a bottle across my face a few minutes ago, you have no place in my life anymore." I grabbed my bag and walked out the door, giving him one last glance, i saw his eyes, they seemed like he cried for hours, even if the scene was only a few minutes ago. I turned around and walked down the stairs, where i saw gustav, georg, bill, evie, ayla and angelina. They all were just staring at me, while i didn't even look back at them anymore, just heading out the door. The Security didn't do anything for my surprise, normally they would automatically hit me and pinch me to the ground, i guess they knew that i'd leave or something. At least i was happy that nobody's holding me back from leaving this shitty hell, even tom let's me leave.

When i finally got out of the frontyard i looked back one last time, seeing the house where my living nightmare begun. Just to look at it gives me shivers on my whole body. I looked up and saw tom standing on his window from his room, he was crying. Very much crying. He seem's like he was dying inside the moment i left the house, but i don't care anymore. I'm leaving this hell, forever. At least i hope that it's the last time i was in there, who knows, maybe tom finds me again and gets me, would be funny, hm?

The second I wanted to walk away somebody grabbed my waist and held me close. To my surprise it was Tom, we stared in eachothers eyes for what felt like a lifetime, then he suddenly kissed me. He kissed me like never before, it was so gentle and caring. I never wanted to let go of him anymore. I put my hands behind his neck and started kissing him deeper. Tom pulled back to take a breath to finally talk. "Eleyn please don't leave me, i beg you. I love you so much, I don't know what's wrong with me. I didn't mean to hurt you all this time, I know i'm a monster but i can't handle it all. When your leaving I won't be myself anymore. You're everything i ever wanted, Please don't go." Tears started streaming down his face, he got on his knees and started crying uncontrollably. i kneeled down in front of him, hugging him very tight, It started to rain and we were getting really wet and soaked because of the water, but we couldn't really care. "Tom, I love you too. But i don't know if we were meant for eachother. Maybe it was just for this one time, you don't know what it will be to live without me this time." I put my hand on his head, while taking one of his braids in the other hand. I kissed him on his head for the last time and wanted to stand up, but he didn't let me. "Eleyn...please." His words came out very silent, i almost couldn't understand him properly.

"Everyone in this house hates me-" "Who cares about them! I only need you Eleyn. You're the love of my life, and i realised that i want to spend the rest of my life with you. Just please give me one last chance. please."
My eyes started tearing up, his words melted my heart. How could he be such a monster the other minute? I just can't believe everything that happened the past months. But i really couldn't let go of him myself, Or ayla. But for ayla i was already dead, I hurt her. Nobody would do that to their bestfriend, it's always my fault isn't it? What a nightmare our life can be.

"Fine, but i don't want to live with the others anymore, I can't do it. I hurt ayla, and bill too because i hit her."

Tom started smiling like i've never seen before, i never seen him that happy. He started crying again and i did too. We hugged eachother tight and stood there for a few minutes, until we finally went in again..

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