I thought I could trust you || Tom Kaulitz & Bill Kaulitz

trust issues

⚠️sh, ed, suicidal⚠️

After a few days in the hospital i finally get away from there. but my nightmare was starting again, once i was in tom's house again. I don't know if i fell in love with him or something, it was just so confusing. i didn't eat for days, neither did i drink something. Tom didn't even care about it if i ate or not, all he could think about was going in clubs all and every night, i never saw him in the afternoon.

I knew i couldn't trust tom, who could ? Maybe bill, because it was his twin brother, but i can't seriously imagine that someday me and tom would be in love for real.

A few hours passed and i heard tom walking out the front door, i need to follow him. I got ready before, so i ran down the stairs, grabbed bill's car keys and left the house. I saw tom turning on the engine, it roared through the whole neighbourhood. I opened the door of bill's car and sat down. i started the engine and it roared the same as tom's, but louder. i didn't expect that from bill's car. Tom drove off and I did the same.

I felt like a detective trying to find out a murder mystery or something. Well after 20 minutes we finally arrived at the place, when i saw what it was i was honestly shocked. it was a sex building? what the actual fuck, tom.

He got out from his car and a few seconds later i got out too. he walked inside the big building and i followed him, hoping he won't see me or else he would probably hit me again, this monster. I just couldn't get away from the fact that i actually thought i was in love with him, i'm such a pain in the ass goddamn.

I went in, tryna figure out where tom went. After a few minutes of walking in thousands of directions, I saw a curtain that had vip on it. I saw a muscular shadow behind it, with a girl on his lap ig. i let out a slight sigh before i opened it, then i saw him

Tom.

He had a girl sitting on his lap, his hands on her ass and her arms around his neck. they were hungrily making out and my blood was starting to boil. Tears came flooding in my eyes and my whole body went numb. I could see how he looked at me while kissing her and how he put his tongue in her mouth aggressively. She liked it i guess, she was moving back and forth and tom leant back his head. I turned around and suddenly i walked into a man, he was a head taller than me and had light brown hair. his eyes were light blue, they shimmered in the party lights, like diamonds. His eyes were like mine.

"Do we know eachother? you look like a girl version of me. kinda funny dont u think?" he started smiling and his teeth was veeeery white. "yeah i guess it's kind of funny." i tried smiling through my uncontrollable tears. "what's wrong beautiful girl? did someone hurt you or something?" he said with kind of a worry in his voice. "yeah im fine, i just need to go to the toilet." i gave him a small glance while i walked to the toilet. i started tearing up again, i couldn't breathe right and my chest was hurting really bad. i got into the bathroom and saw many peaces of glass on the ground, the whole mirror was broken. what happened here? gosh. But when I saw these tiny little peaces of glass, I had the urge to hurt myself like i did when i first met tom, my biggest nightmare.

I picked up one tiny little peace of glass, and started cutting my wrist. It startet burning like hell and in an instant my blood started pouring down my wrist like a fucking waterfall. I was cutting more and more and I loved the pain, I loved seeing how i could hurt myself for what tom did to me. This piece of shit fucked up my whole life. And now here's here with a fucking slut making out and sticking each others tounges in their mouths. My whole arm was going numb from all the cutting and suddenly i saw a bottle of pills next to me. I just wanted to die in that moment. I picked it up and put all of them in my mouth, like it was something you would eat in usual.

After a few minutes i felt how everything started to spin like crazy, i was happy that my life finally came to an end. My sight was slightly going black, and i didn't hear anything anymore.

- sight of ayla walker -

"bill could you find eleyn yet? i can't find her in this fucking building!" "No i can't find her either, search in the bathrooms maybe she's there, you know she's drinking too much when she's partying. But i saw Tom making out with some sort of sex slut." i knew right away that Eleyn Broke down anywhere in here. I ran to so many bathrooms, but couldn't find here. Then i saw a bathroom with a broken mirror, she needs to be in there. Then I saw her, lying in the bathtub, her face was pale white and she didn't breathe. nothing. I instantly called bill. "bill come to the bathroom with the broken mirror please!" I started breaking down and didn't know what to do, i tried picking her up, then i layed her on top of me and put two fingers down her throat. Hoping she will throw up anything she took.

Bill came running in and when he saw us he stood there in shock. "what the fuck! what happened?!" "I don't know either! I found her laying in the bathtub and i don't know what she took!" Bill looked around the room and his gaze stopped at one point. "Pills! She took Pills!" "what?!" Bill walked in our direction and picked up ayla , he held her head above the sink and put two fingers down her throat like me, but faster and more often. Then she started to throw up. "shh.. everything's gonna be okay." bill said.

- sight of eleyn wilson -

what the fuck. am i alive? how could it be, i overdosed on these pills... i just wanted to die.. "why didn't i fucking let me die! nobody loves me, so don't try to make me think you do!" I started breaking down and screaming while my tears started pouring down like never before. why me? why not some other slut you could have as your pet, tom kaulitz.

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