The rebirth of planet Resoria Z9

Chapter 1

I stood there in my living room unable to open the letter in my hands. One piece of paper that would determine my future. It was not unusual for me to be terrified to see the answer but afraid was not enough to describe the unsettling feeling I felt. 

I stared at my hands that was gripping tightly onto the letter in front of me. I could feel myself sink into my thoughts but before I could bask in it shuffled movements came into my view. I looked up for a moment and saw my grandma leaning into the door with her hand over her chest as she fidget with her shirt. 

''My dear, was the money enough for your project? I am sorry that I could only give you that much when I am aware of how expensive those pieces are. I asked around my friends and some of the prices really differs depending on which store my dear.'' Said my grandma with an wary voice and shame lingering in her voice. 

Lying was the only option I had in order to not let her carry the burden that a fault lies in her. It could never be her fault nor mine for being unfortunate. I knew that if my project were finished even though my skills of building a robot wary trough out the days there would be a huge change for me to be accepted in a heartbeat. Knowing I was far from that vivid dream I still had hope that I would be given a chance and my struggles would not define me. 

'' The metal pieces I needed was out of stock again. I bought dinner for us instead grandma.'' I said lying trough my teeths and hoped she would simply believe me and not ask me further. 

''I promise you that  you will buy those pieces one day and once you do that University will see the goodness they have walked over.'' Said my grandma with the warmest voice she could muster her sincerity reached her eyes as she gave me a strength to believe in. 

I watched as she walked to the kitchen grabbing the small dinner with her and walked further into the hallway leading to her room. Once she was out of reach I took out the letter I shoved in my jeans. I paced around the living room holding onto the letter with an unnecessary strength once again until my fingers started to feel numb. I hesitated to open the letter and let my gaze wander upon the the calendar hanging on the gray wall. I needed a distraction to ease the crushing weight on my shoulders. I stared at the calendar and saw today was Friday. May was the month each upcoming student would find out if they had been accepted or rejected. 

I walked to the large brown sofa and sat down reaching for the knife that laid on the edge of the small table. I hestiated once again when memories started to flood of the day I stumbled on my grandma's madras uncovering late fees. A large loan was written under my grandma's name and I blamed myself for involving her into the misery of mine and I should have refrained myself from opening up to her. I should have seen that she would offer her name if that was all she had in order to give me a future. 

The letter in my hand would either wipe off the the only embrace I knew the pain of faliure or it could drown me deeper into another kind of pain the one that stung the most rejection. The sound of the letter ripping made my heart skip a beat I grew afriad that my grandma would walk out on me like my parents did when I drained them as they reminded me almost everyday. My mind raced with doubts that that dreadful day would be repeated. Would I let my fear control me like a parasite does to its prey? I wondered and ripped the letter from the small opening. 

My eyes went back and forth as I read trough the lines on the letter. I didn't dare to make a sound or even move a face muscle and contiuned to read until the lines came to an end.  

I gripped onto the letter with more strenght than I did before and mumbled the words under my breath as I read the letter. I couldn't accept the words I was reading and repeated my actions several times until I gave in. How much mercy could my dear grandma give out until she reaches her limit? This was not the third rejection letter I had been given nor the fifth. Today marks the sixth rejection letter and my self esteem was under the ground.