Unfulfilled Desires

His tears

"Riya's point of view,"

"How are you feeling now?" He inquired as he approached my bed.

I was at a loss for words when I saw him in front of me. What if he had sat outside and listened to all that happened? No, it will not happen. He would not have asked about my health in this manner if he had listened to me and Ankur. Yes, I believe he ignored Ankur and me. I completely missed Harsh since I was so preoccupied conversing with my subconscious.

"Riya, how are you feeling right now?" He questioned me once again.

"I'm alright, but why are you here now?" I was inwardly shaking with panic when he suddenly appeared in front of me. If he learns that I've had a miscarriage, And I'm not sure what will happen to me if he finds out that this child isn't his, but Rachit's.

"We completed quickly the office project for which they sent there me, so I figured, why not return? Are you unhappy with my return?" With a calculated look on his face, he inquired.

"Oh no, there's no such thing;" seeing you in front of me, I can't tell you how calm I am at this moment. But the reason I wanted to go away from you is something I can't hide from you even now.

"Riya, Why are you so upset? What happened to you?" Harsh's voice burst the bubble of my thoughts once more.

"I'm sorry, but I have to tell you something." The truth has been told to him. I'm not sure whether I'll be able to live with remorse if I keep this truth from him for a while.

"Riya, what happened to you?" He worriedly said, after witnessing my tears of misery.

"I cheated on you. Please forgive me, Harsh." I struggled to get the words out of my throat through my sobbing.

"Cheat?" With perplexed eyes, he stared at me. After listening to me, he had several questions in his eyes, and I would have to answer each one of them. Wherever I see love in his eyes, I will soon see hatred instead of these lovely sentiments.

"Yes, Harsh, I've already cheated on you. For a long time, I've kept my relationship with Rachit secret from you."

"What?" It took aback him when he heard me and looked at me with surprise.

"During our Shimla trip, we had become quite close and... ,"I couldn't muster the guts to finish my sentence.

"What else?" His voice remained in the same normal tone as before, and he did not yell in rage. However, listening to my wavering voice revealed how much the dead serious look on his face was worrying me.

"Finish your talk, Riya." In a fit of rage, he squeezed his hands into fists. A look at his white wrists reveals the depth of his rage.

"I did nothing on purpose. I was inebriated, and between us..," my mistakes embarrassed me, and I didn't have the guts to confront him.

"Was this a one-time thing?" Taking a deep breath, he inquired. It fixated his eyes on my face. And he was eagerly expecting my response.

I wish I could go back in time and prevent myself from drinking. I don't know how I'm going to tell him we were together not just once, but several times. Because of our intimacy with each other, his baby was growing inside of me. The thought of my child caused me to stab myself in the heart all over again.

"Answer my question," His apprehension was audible in his tone.

"No, not once, but many times he and I were with each other...,"

"Were you intoxicated every time," before I completed my talk? He left my talk incomplete in the middle and asked his inquiry.

"No," I know what he wants to hear from my mouth, but he is perfectly correct in his viewpoint.

"This shows you were aware of the difference between right and wrong, even though you did not avoid it." Instead of being furious with me, he was asking me strange questions, which astonished me.

"I tried everything I could to stop myself from being drawn to him, but I'm not sure why I couldn't." In hushed tones, I answered.

"Were you dissatisfied with my performance?" When I heard his inquiry, I felt as if someone had thrown me into a pot of boiling water. I knew he'd be devastated when he learned the truth, but I never expected he'd hold himself responsible for my faults.

"Harsh, it's not what you're thinking," my vision become blur because of the tears.

"Do you remember how many times I've asked you? After all, what was missing in my love for you? why Did you cheat on me?" He had tears in his eyes today because of me. The sight of his tear-streaked eyelashes brought tears to my eyes, and my heart sank to my stomach.

"No, Harsh, there were never any flaws in your love; you were always perfect, and whatever happened between me and Rachit was the consequence of my unfulfilled desires."I tried to got out of bed to wipe his tears away, but he yanked my hand away before it could reach his cheek.

"Unfulfilled desire? Tell me if I didn't satisfy your wishes. Why haven't you ever spoken to me about this? I'm in love with you, not your body. And it was for this reason that I mainly avoided physically contacting you, but I did not know you'd become so desperate that you'd started cheating on me."

"No, you've misunderstood." I was attempting to soothe his rage. But I think nothing I say or do today will be enough to calm his rage. He is not at all wrong in his position; I am the only one who is responsible for all that is going on.

"Please excuse me, but it's time to provide the patient's medication." The nurse replied sternly as she stood at the entrance. Harsh quickly wiped his tears away and walked out of the room.

"You report to the reception desk and complete the paperwork to be admitted." The nurse remarked this as she lifted the check sheet from my bedside. He remained silent while he listened to the nurse and did not respond.

In front of my eyes, Harsh's tear-streaked face was spinning. What am I going to do now? I've only told him half the truth so far; if I tell him about my child, then... no, I can't cause him any more grief. I've already inflicted many wounds on him.

I'm not sure how long Harsh will recover from his shock. But I'm confident that as long as I'm in his presence, his wounds will never heal. I'm too late to test a diamond-like the Harsh, now that I know I won't find a caring guy like him everywhere, and I still have to walk away from him. He can never forgive me.

He loves me so much that he may accept me despite my major mistake, but will I be able to communicate with him as I did before looking him in the eyes? Is he ever going to look at me with the same loving eyes?

No, no, no. All of my queries were being answered by my consciousness. In exchange for addressing all of my inquiries, I was left with only one option. And I didn't hesitate to make that decision by following my emotions.