Unfulfilled Desires

Compromise?

"Harsh's point of view,"

I still can't believe my ears, whatever I just heard from Riya's mouth, I feel nothing less than a nightmare. How can she do this to me, how can she deceive me, I always doubted Rachit's intentions, but I did not expect that Riya would do this to me.

I feel as if someone has pierced my back with a dagger. I understood in the very first meeting that Rachit likes Riya but Riya also likes him, why I could not understand this. She was deceiving me in front of my eyes and I was wearing a bandage of her love on my eyes. How many times have I tried to get to know her, but she never told me the truth.

Shimla Trip, why did I let her go there, if I had not let her go there, then this might not have happened today. But what should I do now, should I forgive her and give her a new chance or should I go away from her forever, I do not understand what should I do, Lord, show me the way.

No, I can't live without her. Only I know how I have passed 3 months without her. I never wanted to go away from her but what would I do since she came back from Shimla trip, she stopped paying attention to me. I was unaware of the reason why she was ignoring me at that time, but now that the reason is in front of me, I do not consider myself less than an idiot.

Instead of talking to me, she used to chat on the phone for hours, she stopped sharing her bed with me. On her behest, I started living separately from her room. I did everything for her happiness, yet she did not consider it necessary to tell me the truth. I had also read Rachit's messages on her phone a couple of times but I felt that I am doubting unnecessarily. She often used to come back home late at night and on my asking, she used to make excuses for work in the office. Even then I never doubted her.

That Riya who loved to cook for me, used to cook food for me despite office fatigue, she suddenly stopped cooking for me, she even stopped sitting with me at the dinnig table. Her every move was making me believe that I was an idiot. She used to go to the balcony late at night to meet someone, I caught her many times red-handed, she still fooled me so clearly.

I am just a living joke. I used to think that maybe she has forgotten my value while living with me for a long time, so I intentionally got my transfer done to Hyderabad for 3 months so that she would realize my value in my absence, but I did not know that her life I have no place for me. Before I went to Hyderabad, I had seen the pain in her eyes to be away from me, but than time I didn't know that she was just making a splash at that time, she made fun of my feelings.

For 4 years in the collage I had waited to hear her yes and the day she accepted my proposal, I was thinking of myself as the luckiest man in the world but I didn't know that she said yes only becauseof of my insistence. Because She never loved me, she was only compromising with me. And when Rachit came into her life, she fell in love with Rachit.

Where is her fault in this then, I was a hindrance between two lovers. If she had told me in advance, I would have gone away from her life, but why didn't she tell me. I was walking aimlessly, immersed in my own thoughts. I do not know what the people around me must be thinking after seeing me, but at this time my ability to think and understand was completely over. A flood of questions was rising inside me.

I felt as if someone had thrown ice cold water on me while I was sleeping. I was living in this illusion for so many years that she loves me but now that I know this very well She doesn't love me, I will free her from all the shackles so that she can spend her life in her own way with the boy of her choice. But how will I spend my life without her? Thinking of this, my heart was piercing like a pin.

Why did this happen to me after all, what is my fault that I am getting punished, I wanted to scream but I felt as if my voice was buried inside my throat. But I have to take care of myself now, I promised her that I will always support her whenever she needs me, even though she doesn't love me, she considers me her best friend. I was trying to console myself in every way but today my heart was refusing to believe anything I said.

No, she does not consider me as her friend, if she considers me her friend, then as a friend, she does not hide such a big truth from me.

Well, even if she doesn't think you deserve to be her friend, still you shouldn't leave her alone in this condition. She has had such a big accident, if she is not taken care of properly then her condition can worsen.

Whatever complaints I have, I will express it in front of her later, for the time being I have to take care of all the past keeping aside. I wiped my tears and committed that no matter what happens, I will never leave her alone in such a condition.

I was accelerating my steps towards the hospital reception when Dr. Sinha, coming from the front, cried in a loud voice after seeing me.

"Harsh When did you come back?"

Why is she getting so happy seeing me in front of her, I could not understand this, but still I greeted by forcefully bringing a smile on my face.

"When did you come here, you didn't even tell me," Dr. Sinha said in a complaining tone. I could not understand why I would inform her of my return. Why is she so excited seeing me, it was still a puzzle for me.

"Well, tell me how is Riya?" I was completely confused after hearing Riya's mention from her mouth suddenly.

Riya? This means the doctor knows about Riya's accident.

"Yes, I was going to complete some formalities of her admit process." I replied by moving my steps towards the reception.

"Admitting formalities? Why is she getting admitted to the hospital so soon, she still has 6 months left in her pregnancy," the doctor asked in a confused voice.

"Pregnancy?" I couldn't believe my ears.

"Yes, has Riya not told you anything about her pregnancy till now,"she asked looking in surprise.

"No,"I nodded my neck in disbelief.

"Oh, she is such a sweetheart, I was the one who told her to tell you this news first, infact I was about to call you at that time but she stopped me from doing so. But I am happy that she kept the promise made to me and I was the first to tell you this good news." Listening to her, I felt as if someone had slammed me straight down from the palm tree.

Riya, how many more secrets have you kept hidden from me? You were not like that at all, when and how did so many changes come in you. You have to answer my questions. I immediately turned my steps towards her room. As soon as I entered her room, her bed was completely empty.

I could not understand where she could get up and go in this condition, when she is not able to get up and sit properly at this time. I do not know whether I should worry about her or get angry with her in such a situation. But at this point of time instead of thinking about all these things, it is very important for me to find Riya.