Lost for Words

A Sense of Proportion

Professor Ernst had been working through the night, perfecting his maquette. It was for a very important commission. Her Majesty would be celebrating her diamond jubilee in somewhat over a year's time, and her courtiers were 'most eager' that efforts should be made to commemorate this occasion.

Artists, sculptors and architects had hurried to the royal palace to submit various designs, sketches and plans. Each one was subjected to great scrutiny before being presented to Her Majesty for assent - and the monarch's personal approval was essential! After all, it was her diamond jubilee.

Professor Ernst had submitted a proposal for a triumphal arch to be erected at the entrance to one of the royal parks. It would consist of an arched deck atop two, great square pillars. Overflowing cornucopias - representing the bounty that Her Majesty's reign had brought - would be moulded into the pillars. A frieze depicting the people would run along the bottom of the deck. This would be symbolic of how the monarch ruled with the popular support of her subjects. Then, on top of the deck, would be two bronze lions, three - No! Four! - times life-size. And between them would be a statue of Her Majesty, overlaid with gold leaf as befitted the monarch.

Of course, Her Majesty had taken a Most Personal Interest in Professor Ernst's project; and so he had been plagued by regular requests to detail his progress, the quality of the materials selected for the arch, and whether the brow of the noble statue was at quite the right angle. However, the professor had politely endured all these and given satisfactory answers.

And then the proctor of the academy had come to visit him. "Her Majesty has expressed a desire to visit and see for herself what you have achieved so far."

"Ah." Professor Ernst continued to work at his maquette, shaving the clay away from the two-foot high figure.

"Indeed. She will be coming tomorrow."

"Tomorrow?" The professor looked at the proctor in amazement.

"Yes. Her Majesty stated that she wished to see how you would render her." The proctor nodded at the maquette with its rough features. "I suggest that you work on making that presentable."

So, Professor Ernst set to work. It was not until six o'clock the following morning that he was satisfied with the appearance of the model of Her Majesty. He barely had time to bathe, shave, breakfast and change into a fresh smock before:

"The Queen! The Queen!" A pair of equerries announced Her Majesty, then stood aside to let her enter the professor's studio,

Professor Ernst and the proctor stood in respectful silence as Her Majesty inspected his work. "Professor," she began. "Is this a true representation of how We will appear on Our monument?"

Ernst bowed. "Indeed, Your Majesty - save for the addition of the gold leaf."

"Ah." Her Majesty's voice held a hint of disapproval. "We had expected that Our statue would be somewhat larger."