I love you so

I Messed up

Tw: Self harm (for those who don't want to read that I'll put a bonded lone at the beginning and end so you can skip) gore, lots of talk of bl0od

      "He couldn't take it anymore. He needed something to shut up the voices yelling at him. He stood up, balancing on his bed frame.

   He took a step."

   Then another, seemingly going on auto pilot. He closed the bathroom door, locking it as he opened the shoe box. Right on top of all of the medical supplies was a blade, from a pencil sharpener specifically. It still had dried blood on it.

   TW: Sh starting, go to other bolded to skip if needed

   He had a small, yet sad smile. Like the smile you would have when saying hello to an old friend.

   He picked up the blade and rolled up his t-shirt sleeve. He drew the blade almost softly across the skin, seeing the cat scratch of a line appear. He shivered slightly at the pain he so enjoyed.

   The next line was deeper, turning into a bean of a cut. Little bubbles of blood were appearing and slowly running down his upper arm, running over previous scarred over cuts.

   He smiled at the cuts, the thoughts in his head clearing. He let out a calm breath, pressing down harder while drawing the blade across his scarred arm. The cuts were never more than two inches long, they were easier to hide that way.

   He continued leaving cuts along his arm. The blood was dripping down, leaving crimson dots scattered along the edge of the sink and the white tiles.

   He pressed down harder than he had before for this cut, it was deep. Deeper than all the others, wider to. Thats when he fully comprehended what he had done.

   He dropped the bloody blade into the sink with a light clatter. He took a jarred step back and stared at himself in the mirror with a scared and confused look.

   His eyes were drawn to his bloody arm. He lifted his left hand to his arm and clutched it, seeing blood run down the back of his left hand. His breathing picked up and he started to panic.

   He almost slipped on the blood that was on the floor, leaving a smear on the floor. He fell to the floor by his bed and grabbed phone. Instinctively calling Dream. After a few rings Dream picked up.

   "Hey Sap, what's u-" Sapnap interrupted him, "I messed up! I'm sorry. I fucked it up dream"

   Tears started flowing down his face as he let out a chocked sob, putting his phone on speaker and locking himself back in the bathroom, sitting on the toilet.

   Dream was sitting on his bed but when he heard Sapnap's panicked voice he immediately sat up.

   "Hey, what's wrong dude? What do you mean you messed up?" He tried to hide his worry for Sap in his voice

   "I-" he sniffled, holding a sob back "-cut again.. I'm sorry..I'm so sorry"

   "Sapnap...it's okay. It's going to be okay. How bad is it?" As much as he wished he wasn't used to helping with stuff like this, it was helpful to know how to help.

   "It's pretty bad...deeper than usual and bleeding more.."

   "Okay. How about this, you clean up the blood and wrap your arm like you usually do and I'll come and pick you up." Drean offered, knowing how to properly treat wounds. Perks of having a nurse for a mom.

   "O-okay..." He grabbed a towel and put it on the floor so he wouldn't track any blood. "Wait...can you stay on call while I do this? Please?"

   "Hm? Yeah, of course Sapnap. I'll be here" Dream assured his friend

  Tw over. Recap - sapnap relapsed pretty bad and called dream. Dream helped him calm down and now sapnap is cleaning uo and dream is going to pick him up and properly clean the wounds

   He smiled at the niceness of his friend. He turned on the sink water and grabbed the blade out of the sink. He hesitated but he put it back into the shoe box.

   Even though nothing was being said between the two, the air was calmer. It reassured Sapnap that he knew his friend was on the line still.

   He rubbed the towel that was on the floor around a little bit to clean up the blood. Also grabbing a soft washcloth, wetting it under the tap. He took a breath before cleaning the blood that dripped down and started to dry on his forearm. Slowly cleaning higher up until he got right under the area he cut.

   He mentally prepared himself before wiping and dabbing the area as softly as he could, but it still hurt like a bitch, making him flinch. The bleeding slowed enough for him to grab the gauze and bandages from the box and messing wrap his arm.

   He sighed and unlocked the door, leaving the bathroom and sitting on his bed.

   "Hey..thanks for staying on call." He wiped the last remaining tears from his face.

   "Yeah no problem dude. I'm outfront by the way" dream said, knowing better then to knock.

  "'Kay. I'll be out in a sec." And with that, he ended the call.

   He hastily grabbed a black hoodie and threw it on even though it was incredibly warm out. Also grabbing his phone charger he opened his door and held his breath. Listening for his dad downstairs.

   He quietly closed his door and crept down the stairs. Peering around to see where his father was. He then saw the TV was on and his dad was passed out on the couch.

   He let out a sigh of relief as he quickly put his vans on and opened the door as softly as he could before exiting and closing the door in the same fashion.

   A smile grew on his face when he saw his dirty blonde friend. He walked over and side hugged him with his left arm.

   "Hey man, let's go back to my place. Let me properly patch you up" dream smiled down to his friend

   He chuckled, "Heh, yeah sure. Thanks again by the way"

   "Dude, it's no problem. We've been friends forever, we're basically brothers now." Dream responded, ruffling Sapnap's already messed up hair.

   And with that, the two were off back to Dream's house. Which was basically Saonap's second home as Dream's mom loved him. His sister, Drista....tolerated him. (Even though she secretly admired him for all that he's done)

(Holy shit- over 1000 words. That's a record for me. I would have made this chapter longer but I'm trying to keep something in my live consistent)