Violet Memories (Sanemi x Reader)

Chapter 7: The Sun has Fallen

Obanai was not happy at all with Mitsuri's state. He kept glaring at me through the entire hashira meeting the next day, since Mitsuri's spot was empty.

I avoided looking at the other hashira, tightening my mask. I felt like a living void, unable to feel any emotion, to feel hurt, or sorrow, for losing any loved one. The feelings of anger I had while fighting were long gone by the time we'd returned.

That night, I was walking outside of the Ubuyashiki Estate when I saw Sanemi sitting on the porch of the house. When I saw him, I quickly turned the other way.

"Precision Hashira, sit here," he said gruffly. It felt more of an order than an invite, but I blankly sat down anyway.

"I'm...oh fuck, how do I say this..." Sanemi grumbed, rubbing his hair. "What I mean is that I shouldn't have insulted you that day."

I looked out in the distance, with no clue how to respond. "Okay."

He whipped around and shot daggers at me. "The fuck? Is that all you've got to say?!"

"Sorry about Kanroji?" I tried.

Sanemi looked baffled. "Huh?"

I CAN'T FEEL ANYMORE. All these emotions can't be felt, and shouting in my mind doesn't give me any feeling either. Leave me alone. 

To my surprise, tears started dripping down my face, but there was no sadness behind them.

Tears without a reason have no meaning. Why was I having a problem with my lack of emotions now?

"Oi! Why are you crying!" Sanemi said, exasperated, noticing the tears behind my mask.

"I can't feel anymore, so I don't feel sorrow, I'm fine." I stated, voice monotone. Sanemi looked at me in disbelief, and said nothing for a few moments.

"Come closer."

"Huh-"

Sanemi pulled me towards him, giving me an awkward side hug. I felt blood pound in my ears. I remembered this.

" 'Nemi, let's count the birds!" I happily said, sitting next to Sanemi on his front porch. I patted his head, and he pat mine.

Sanemi pulled me closer, giving me a side hug. I hugged him back.

"Bound forever!" I laughed, and looked at him. He returned a goofy grin.

I subconsciously leaned into him, but as quick as it started, as quick as it ended. Sanemi leapt to his feet, staring at me like I was a ghost.

"Y-you," he spluttered, his hands twitching near his sword. He put his face into his hands.

"WHY DO YOU REMIND ME SO MUCH OF HER? FUCK!"

As Sanemi cursed to himself, my brain halted.

Her?

"Similar eyes, hair, habits...!" Sanemi rambled, breathing erratically, falling to his knees. "Holy, I'm really losing it."

I felt my heart constrict, an odd feeling lingering.

He did remember me. But he didn't know that I was the person that he knew.

I slowly walked over to Sanemi, who was on the ground, muttering to himself. I did the only thing I could think of.

I patted his head.

Sanemi suddenly shot up and wrapped me in his arms. We stayed there in silence for a while.

"Even if you're not her, please, just stay," he said, his voice cracking. This was one of the only times that I've ever seen him this vulnerable.