Where did you Come From?

part 5

Chapter 10: BROOKE

I sat on the bus on the way to the competition, and I know it was selfish, but I really wish Tyler were here.  I knew being here would just hurt him, but I really missed him.  Even when everything was my fault, which it was most of the time, he was still the one apologizing.  He was the one holding me telling me it was okay, and I really didn’t deserve it.  I didn’t deserve him, or how good he is to me.  But I needed him.  More then I’ve ever needed anyone before.  Knowing that he’s there for me really just makes me feel safe.  I’ve never been in love, or anything close to it, but I think that’s what was happening now.  I never wanted to be away from him, and the thought of losing him just seemed impossible…I really think I was in love with him.  I always thought I would be too terrified to really love someone, but everything about him just felt right.  Right down to the way I fit in his arms. 

“Is something wrong?” I heard Maddie, who was sitting next to me on the bus ask.

I didn’t realize how deep in thought I was, and how it must of looked.

“No I’m good” I responded, trying to sound upbeat

“Do you miss Tyler?” Maddie asked with a smirk on her face

I just flashed her a small smile before turning and resting my head on back my pillow.  I closed my eyes and was out a few moments later.

I felt someone brush the hair off my face and lightly try to shake me awake.  I opened my eyes and expected to see Tyler because he always does that, but instead I saw Brandon.  He was standing over me.

“Hey” he said softly while smiling at me, “we’re here.”

“Oh” I said, not really understanding why I was so disappointed.  For some reason I really thought Tyler was gonna be there, and I felt so stupid, but it made me miss him even more, “thanks.”

I got off the bus and headed inside.  Before I could even take two steps Brandon was beside me again.

“Hey.” He said again, still smiling

“Hi.” I said, still feeling kind of awkward about the way he woke me up on the bus.  Why did he think that was okay?

“I thought Tyler was coming.” Brandon said, but not in the same smug tone he’d had yesterday with Tyler

“He changed his mind.” I said looking down, still wishing he was here.

“Oh,” Brandon said smirking a little, “that’s too bad.”

“I know” I said sharply, kind of getting annoyed with Brandon.  I mean of course I felt bad, but Tyler never did anything to him and it bothered me that he was the reason Tyler wasn’t here right now.

I wish I could tell Brandon to back off a little, but our friendship has been so fragile since we dated, and its taken us so long to get back to where we are now.  I didn’t want to ruin that, and it was my fault for messing it up in the first place, so I felt like I kind of owed it to Brandon to be nice…and he really was one of my oldest friends.  I still cared about him, but he did take advantage of that sometimes.

“So I was thinking,” Brandon started, keeping the smirk on his face, “maybe we could do what we used to do…buy a bunch of food from the vending machines, find a random hallway to eat it in, and just talk.”

“sure.” I said looking up at Brandon and forcing a smile.

I think Tyler may have been right…Brandon had been acting really weird, and he knew that I still felt bad about what I did to him.  I didn’t know how to say no to him without hurting him, but he was just making all of this so uncomfortable.