☆Fated From The Start ☆ (everlark)

Chapter 1: Don't Kiss and Tell; Better Yet, Don't Kiss at All

Katniss

"God, is the idea of kissing me so disgusting to you?"

I say to Peeta as he refuses to kiss me. His eyes are glassy, and I can't help but roll my eyes in response and hide the small bite of pain in my voice with a small chuckle. It's just a silly, drunken dare that everyone's done at least once in their life. The fact that we've been friends since forever makes it, honestly, a tad insulting. It may have to do with the fact that I've had a few more shots than I can handle, but I find it a bit offensive that my best friend finds me repulsive and unkissable.

"Kat, I'm not kissing you, okay?"

He says as he puts his hands on my shoulders. His strong and firm demeanor pisses me off even more. He's treating me like a child, a drunk child. I can't help but push his shoulders off and scowl. This is gonna be great for my self-esteem. But to be honest, I'm just a bit hurt that he immediately said no when Jo dared him. As he says it, I just scoff and chuckle in disbelief at how serious he's taking this whole thing, but to be fair he isn't the one close to tears here.

"Fine, fine. I get it... Jo dare him to do something else because apparently kissing me is too far."

Trying to seem unbothered and unamused is way harder when you're three shots into the night. So instead, I just look somewhere else to avoid his gaze. His desperately looking for mine, I assume to look into my eyes and puke as he realizes I'm not enough for him.

"Kat, listen- it's not like that."

He says in a hurried voice as the rest of the group moves on from him to the next person to dare. None of them care, they're either too high or drunk to care. The only comfort I find in it is that at least no one seems to notice how badly my eyes itch to cry. God, this is so stupid. I knew it was all just in my head.

"Hey, Peeta... I get it. No hard feelings."

I say trying to smile as I can't believe I'm actually affected by this. He's allowed to not want to do it; I just didn't expect him to be so utterly against it.

"No, Katniss, let me explain..."

I don't even let him finish as I get up and decide I'm just gonna head out for the night. I've had way too much to drink, and it's making me way too emotional. That must be it as I feel my head spin when I get up. That's just it, it's the night's fault, not my unrequited crush on my bestfriend. His voice follows me as I gather my things and leave. I look at Jo and nod my head to signal I wanna leave. She's a great friend because she doesn't even question it and gets up to leave with me, scowling at Peeta. Funny how we actually became friends through him.

"Way to go, Asshole."

Jo helps me into the passenger side of her car and sighs whenever she can't get my seatbelt on me. I feel like a bag of bones with the urge to do nothing but cry myself to sleep. She mutters curses under her breath as she finally gets me securely seated in her car.

"If you puke or even think about puking, you're dead, Brainless"

She warns me in full seriousness but for a reason that gets a laugh out of me. A maniacal laugh that I then feel turns into a silent sob into the side of the passenger seat. I must be insane since I can't remember the last time I cried in front of someone—well, someone that wasn't Peeta. And that was a bad thought to have because now I can't stop thinking about how badly he didn't wanna kiss me tonight. I feel like I cry for hours as Johanna tries her best to soothe me. I don't even bother on telling her that she doesn't need to even though I sense how hard of a time she's having at seeming caring. I instead just let myself be patted on the head by one of Jo's hands as the other drives us home. It's only when the car stops that I manage to stop the tears rolling down my now aching face. I turn my head up and find Jo with an uncomfortable expression on her face as she tries to seem empathetic. I can't blame her. This has never been our dynamic. This is something that Peeta does best.

"Hey I'm sorry-"

"Its okay Jo."

I say through the snot on my upper lip and I can see her shoulders visually relax as she sighs, being freed of the awkward conversation she felt we needed to have. She already did more than enough anyways and I appreciate her. No matter how uncomfortable it might be next week in school. I get out of her car and stumble slightly as I get home. Hoping Haymitch is passed out by this hour. Fortunately he is, so I sneak to my room and fall asleep. Tired, sore and embarrassed.

Peeta

I think I'd rather die and go to hell than having to stand another sermon from my mom's church youth pastor. I can't believe mom got dad to drag Ryen and I to church hungover. It's like she knows and just wants to punish us, because when have we ever been devoted Christians? Certainly not when mom got pregnant with Oliver when she was 18 and certainly not after all the dumb shit Ryen saw me do last night. But the worst thing of all is that by sitting down in these uncomfortable chairs and being forced to silently listen to this 19 year old tell us all about temptation and carnal sins, I'm left to do nothing but think about Katniss' insulted expression as I refused to kiss her. Her scowl turned into a soft dejected face as I said I wouldn't. It left me reeling as she left the party way earlier than what I knew she had intended. Leading me to take less than honorable decisions. My head hurts just to think about how much I drank last night. All in hope to get rid of the confusion of her expression. Why did she look so hurt? I wasn't gonna kiss her. Not for a dare and not when she was borderline drunk. Not like that. Maybe I should've just kissed her. Maybe it would have helped prevent how offended she got and maybe she would have stayed the rest of the night. But I simply could not.

"Why do you look so depressed?"

Ryen asks me with a whisper and an elbow nudge, snapping me out of my daze.

"I'm just hungover"

I whisper back to him, never dropping my eyes from the pastor as he goes on and on about sex before marriage or whatever the fuck he's been rambling about for the past hour. Ryen eyes me and shoots me a look that calls out my bullshit. I ignore it, feigning sudden interest in the sermon.

"So it has nothing to do with a certain black-haired archer?"

My eyes snap back to him with a surprised look and before I can even ask how he knows, he rolls his eyes at me and laughs.

"Your friend Finn told me that might be the reason you decided to get so wasted last night."

My cheeks are now tinted pink. He's gonna tease me about it forever, fuck. I dart my eyes to my hands to hide how embarrassed I am. Hopefully only God knows how much I've wanted to kiss her. Ever since I first met her on our first day of kindergarten. Ever since I heard her sing the Valley Song at our school's choir. Ever since I offered to share my lunch with her when I saw she had none. Ever since I've known her my heart has undeniably beaten for her. And to know I hurt her last night is killing me. Ryen thankfully doesn't press me for details and instead just goes back to listening to the pastor. Usually he'd tell me to move on or confess to her already but today I'm glad he doesn't.

The pastor or better said dropout-who-happens-to-be-the-head-pastor-Crane's kid lets us go and we meet back with our parents at the outside of the church. My mom shoots Ryen and me a deadly look that without any words scolds us for drinking too much last night. So this was a punishment all along. We get home and I do nothing but paint my frustrations away. Debating on whether I should text her or simply wait for Monday to come and force me to talk to her. I finally decided to leave it up to fate and to just go to bed for the night. Hopefully my pillow gives me the answers I need.