When I awoke I was sitting next to Katsuki on the roof. He was looking up at the sky with the slightest resemblance of a smile on his face. I couldn't even look at the beautiful night sky above us because he was so gorgeous like that. When he felt safe and when he felt as though no one in the world was judging him. His skin was glowing and his eyes were glassy, but the kind of glassy that reminds you of a happy summer day playing in the sun all day.
Our legs dangled off the edge of the building and our hands were close together, I could hardly feel the brush of his skin against mine. I wished I could've grabbed his hand and smiled when his head snapped to look at me. Instead, I continued watching him in silence because the second he realized I was there he would be gone again. I didn't quite know what that meant, I just knew I couldn't ruin it.
But he ruined it for me when he spoke to me although his gaze didn't leave the bright night sky. "Have you ever counted the stars?"
Caught of guard, my hand slid further away from his and my eyes snapped to the sky where I focused on the stars flickering instead of the reflection of those same stars in Katsuki's eyes. I stayed silent for a second, surveying the stars like if I counted them now it would count as an answer.
My mouth opened for an awkward second before I spoke to him, "no, that's impossible."
Katsuki chuckled, a soft sound that I wanted to steal and lock up in a music box. It was so innocent and full of life I didn't quite know what to do with it. It echoed around in my hollow head and I had to swallow to keep down the butterflies trying to escape my stomach.
I heard Katsuki's shirt shift as his head turned to look at me and I could see his crimson eyes in my peripherals, yet I didn't turn to meet his gaze. He kept looking for a long while, my neck and cheeks were starting to burn as I was gaining consciousness of how long he was staring at me. This was odd, I wanted him to look away yet I wanted him to keep staring at me for an eternity at the same time. His eyes were beautiful I wanted to meet his gaze for just a second to see that intense color I'm so fond of. Before I could turn my head he looked away, almost reluctantly as if he was still waiting for my head to turn. He sighed and I could hear his legs starting to swing as he was probably starting to get restless.
I started wondering how long we had been up here. I didn't even remember going up there in the first place. What time was it? What day was it? What had I been doing that day? All questions I had no answers to. But in the back of my mind I had this dreadful feeling like I didn't really wanna know the answers. Like they were so horrible even this awkward moment up on the rooftop with Katsuki was better.
I stopped questioning everything when his voice cut through again, "Impossible?" he paused with another chuckle that made me grin, "You do the impossible every day, what's so different about counting stars?"
I looked down to the ground below us, grass and sidewalks with cherry blossoms floating in the wind. I preferred that view because it was more lifelike than the still picture of the dark sky with little bright dots in it. I liked knowing things were alive, something about still pictures made me uneasy even if I knew it wasn't really death keeping them so still.
"Well.." I trailed off because I wasn't quite sure how to respond. He was flattering me. I did the impossible every day? This didn't seem right, yet I played along like this was an everyday conversation we had, "I could never see all the stars at once so I could never count absolutely every single one."
Katsuki shrugged, (I could tell because when he shrugged it was like he was lifting up a surprisingly light weight and lifted them too high on accident), "I bet you'd get pretty close though."
I laughed and lifted my head to look at him, seeing him smirking up at the sky the way he did when he was being sarcastic which was often. Except he only smirked when he wasn't trying to be mean, which was less often. I continued looking at him, like I had done before and like he had just done, smiling because I couldn't quite seem to get my lips to stop. This time his head turned too and his squinted eyes, (from a smile that nearly stopped my heart), met mine. He was so gorgeous I could feel my own smile faltering because I was so amazed. It's like when you're watching your favorite show and a crazy plot twist comes along and you have to pause to slow your heart rate. Except this was real life (I hoped) and I couldn't pause time to stop this annoying pulsing in my chest that felt so loud I hoped he couldn't hear it too. His smile faltered too but he kept looking at me, it's like he knew what he was doing to me and wanted to watch me crumble to bits.
He looked at me for a few more moments before he scoffed in a friendly way and turned to look at the sky again. I had to continue looking at him because my eyes wouldn't move, I had to savor this moment because my gut was twisting like it was telling me it wouldn't last. I was scared and I couldn't really pinpoint why. But soon I had looked away to look at the sky again because I could see him looking to the opposite side of himself trying to avoid my eyes. I looked boredly at the sky, trying to find the consolations even though I had never been able to make out those weird shapes people said were definitely there. I couldn't connect the dots unless there were numbers telling me where to go next.
Suddenly a moving light caught my eye and I gasped like a child, raising my arm quikly and pointing up like that would direct Katuki's gaze in any way.
"Kacchan look!" I glanced at him before looking back at the sky, dropping my arm as I watched the tiny lights shoot across the sky, "shooting stars."
With a smile I looked at him again, "did you wish?"
He chuckled yet again and shook his head as he looked at me, "I didn't have time."
I shrugged and looked back at the sky because for some reason my eyes were starting to sting even though my heart wasn't heavy and there was no lump in my throat. He looked back too after a few seconds, by that point that shooting stars had gone.
A question popped into my mind and without thinking much of it I asked, "is there something you wish for?"
He was silent. It didn't even seem like he was considering answering. I had given up on the answer right after I asked because it really seemed like he thought it was a dumb question. I did wonder though. He said he hadn't had time like there was something on his mind and something he would've wished for. I wanted to know. So my attention was immediatly grabbed when he shifted and his gaze dropped to the ground. I turned my head to find him looking almost sad, but still smiling. I'd never seen him smile so much, I never thought I'd ever see him genuinely smile really. A sad smile was something I'd never have imagined on him.
His voice was quieter when he finally answered, "yes."
It wasn't enough of an answer so without any hesitation I asked, "well, what do you wish for?"
I half expected him to have some snarky reply like 'it's against the shooting star rules to tell you' or 'like I would ever tell you'. Instead his smile faded and he looked like he was considering giving me a real answer. I was at the very edge of the roof waiting for him to say something, even scoff and shake his head, I just wanted something and this silence was nothing.
He turned his head to he was looking at me even though his head was still down. He looked so sad that it made me want to cry.
"I wish that.." his eyes suddenly became glossed over and he was looking directly behind me instead of at me, "we were two other people."
I raised my eyebrows because it hadn't made sense to me. Why? Why would we need to be anyone else?
He looked at me again and as his tears started to break his waterline he whispered, "two people who didn't need to say goodbye."
When I awoke for the final time, I was bruised and broken on the battle field, laying next to his dead body. When I realized what he had meant, I squeezed my eyes shut and tried to wish the same. Go back to the shooting star passing through the sky and wish we were two people who could stay together forever.
Unfortunately, that's against the shooting star rules.
..
(smt short and simple bc of tt)
