Brighter Stars // Billie Eilish gxg

t h i r t y t w o

Carmen's POV

"As much as I'd love to help you Carmen, I know absolutely nothing about anything. At all." Billie says from across the room, gazing at me with her icy blue eyes.

I bite my lip and look down at the journal in my lap. I'm half dressed in Billie's bed, slowly coming to the realization that I have no idea what to write about at all.

"Fuck." I whisper.

I pick up the pen and hover it above the paper, hoping that if I just sit here and try to think back on it all, everything will flow out.

First there were the notes on the door of my dorm room. Then there was the break in of my dorm room with more notes. Then came the fact that my dorm room literally caught on fire while I wasn't there. Then my phone and computer were tapped into, and everything descended into madness after that.

I could start there.

I start scribbling words on the paper in front of me, trying to piece together the story of these past few months.

Billie sits on the foot of my bed.

"Carmen?" She says quietly.

I keep writing.

What did the notes say again? My memory isn't serving me at all. Why can't I remember?

"Carmen." Billie says, placing her hand on my leg.

I jump.

"Shit, sorry." I say, putting the pen down.

"I think it's time that we talk about everything." Billie says softly.

I look at her, dumbfounded.

"You were there for most of it, Bil." I say, looking at her.

She licks her bottom lip then plays with the rings on her fingers.

"Carmen, you haven't talked to me about what happened with Webb at all." Billie says, locking eyes with me.

"I mean, what is there to talk about?" I say coldly, pulling my knees into my chest and putting the journal to the side.

"If you aren't going to talk to me you need to talk to someone." Billie says, trying to be kind.

"It's not that I don't want to talk about it, okay?" I say louder than I anticipated.

Billie's expression softens, and she scoots closer to me.

"Do you remember what happened to you?" She asks.

"God, Billie. Why is it such a big deal?" I jeer.

"Carmen, mamas, I'm not trying to pry. I just-"

"Everyone and their fucking mother want me to come out and tell this crazy story about what happened when I was in that mansion. You are supposed to be my escape from that!" I yell at her.

"You asked for my help, Carmen. Literally like a few hours ago you said you wanted my help. So what is it that you want?!" She yells back, standing up from the bed.

I look at Billie's face. It's hard to pinpoint exactly what she's feeling right now.

I grab my phone from the bedside table and open up instagram and go into my dms.

@carmenprice: are u free?

"What are you doing?" Billie asks, trying to look at my phone.

"Oh my god, am I not allowed to text people now?" I yell, pulling my phone closer to my chest.

"Oh my fucking goddd. I never said that." Billie says, cupping her face in frustration.

My phone buzzes.

@zack_reynolds: wtf hey carmen... yeah? whassup?

@carmenprice: i'll be at your place in like an hour, is that cool?

@zack_reynolds: yeah! ofc see you soon

"Carmen. Seriously, what are you doing." Billie says angrily.

I jump out of bed and head for the closet, looking for something to wear.

"Babe, what the fuck?" Billie asks, following me to the closet.

I slip on a hoodie and a pair of Billie's basketball shorts, then sit down to put my shoes on.

"Carmen, why are you doing this?" Billie says, with hurt in her voice.

"I need a fucking break. I'll be back later." I say coldly, jumping up and grabbing a pair of sunglasses.

"Okay. A break. That's fine. Where are you going? On a walk or something?" Billie says, following me around the room.

I order an uber to Zack's house and then shove my phone in my pocket.

"Sure. Be back later tonight." I say, pushing past her and walking out of her bedroom.

I hear Billie gasp, but she doesn't follow me.

I walk out of the front door and sit on the steps to the house waiting for my uber. I open instagram again to check my dms.

@zack_reynolds: R u ok? I haven't heard from you since before everything

@carmenprice: i'm fine, i'll give you the rundown when i get there.

I hear the door open and close behind me. I close and lock my phone.

"Mamas..." Billie says, sitting next to me on the steps.

I don't say anything.

"I'm sorry. I wasn't trying to make you uncomfortable. I just want you to be okay." She says quietly, sniffling at the end of her sentence.

"My Uber is going to be here soon. We can talk later." I say, not looking at her.

"Uber? Where the fuck... it's not safe out there right now Carmen, you know that." Billie says.

I sigh.

"The paparazzi are all over your case. You shouldn't be going anywhere until this hearing happens." Billie says, looking at me.

The Uber pulls into the driveway and I stand up. Billie grabs me by the wrist.

"Carmen! Please. I'm serious. At least let me go with you, I don't want you to be alone and I-"

"So you wanna hold me captive too? Just like Webb?" I hiss, locking eyes with her.

"Woah." Billie says, dropping my wrist.

I continue staring into her eyes. The headlights from the Uber illuminate the tear streaks on her cheeks. It looks like I broke her.

"That's what I thought." I say.

I turn and walk towards the uber and jump in the backseat.

"For Carmen?" The driver says, using his phone to map Zack's address.

"Yup." I sigh.

Billie watches as we pull out of the driveway and turn down another street.

I know I hurt her. I just don't really care this time.

//

hiiii ily all <3