Members with benefits // Stray Kids Smut [ENG]

31

Chan was up all night. He called Seungmin again after half an hour to confirm that everyone was home, alive and safe. He knows full well that his group members are grown-ups and he is not their father, and yet he can't help but worry like that. Especially for Jeongin.

He tossed and turned in his bed, filled with guilt. Hearing I.N's voice so broken, hearing him say those words...

He's got it all wrong with him. He shouldn't have let him do that kind of thing, not that night after the party or ever. I.N deserves a better partner than him and Chan knows it well.

So the next morning, not too early, Chan went to the maknae's room. He knocked but hearing no response he entered anyway.

«I don't think I said to come in» mutters the voice of the younger, who barely gets up from the pillow to see who it is and snorts as soon as he realizes it's Chan. His sleeping expression darkens and he puts his head back on the pillow: «Get out, Hyung» and that words sounds so cold to Chan.

The older doesn't listen to him, takes a few steps into the room and closes the door behind him: «Isn't time to talk, Jeongin?» he asks, kindly.

I.N doesn't move his head from his pillow, not wanting to look at the older. He remembers perfectly what he told Chan the night before even if he hopes it was just a weird dream.

"Give me my heart back? It was so pathetic!"

«Talk about what?» he replies in a bitter tone.

And he really doesn't know what to say to Chan, his hyung, leader and first love. What do they have to talk about? About how much he is obsessed with him? About how much he wants to be with him and at the same time to forget him?

Chan sighs and sits on the bed next to I.N. He would like to caress his back but he knows it's better to avoid physical contact, given the circumstances.

«I'm so sorry, I.N.»

The little boy finally turns to look at him and sighs, then he moves his eyes to an indefinite point on the floor. His nervous face relaxes, his heart slows down. 

"Who are you fighting against, I.N?" 

«It's not your fault, hyung» he finally says, meeting Chan's gaze again.

He's tired of being angry, he's tired of trying to hate his leader to silence the other feelings he has. And he knows it's no one's fault that Chan doesn't love him back.

«No, it is!» the Australian responds, «I got it all wrong. I let you do it!»

Jeongin shrugs with a bitter smiles: «It will pass» he just says, not even convincing himself.

«Of course it will pass, but in the meantime I owe you an apology.» Chan continues, clenching his fists.

Jeongin sighs, looking at Chan's sorry face. He can see from the dark circles under his red eyes that he hasn't slept and... For what?

«Well, a small apology is welcome» I.N chuckles, trying to soften the atmosphere.

Enough drama, enough suffering, for both of them.

The leader's eyes light up. He really hoped to have that glimmer of possibility to make amends, that's all he asked for.

«I have an idea to make it up to you!» he smiles.

Jeongin looks at him questioningly, imagining all the ways Chan could make it up to him... Such as giving him his cock, or to be more romantic, asking him out at least.