Hank's trouble child // chicago PD

chapter 15- Help

Hank and Tonio just stared at me, with... I don't actually know how to describe it. It was like they where sad but proud at the same time. I don't know but that's the best way to put it I think. Ruze was looking at me with proud eyes as well. He reminded me of my brother when he looked at me like that to be fair, it brought back happy memories.

"Well, lets give you the help you need then. For starters we're going to be doing drug tests every week, just so it can give you some reasoning to try and fight the urges. We will also speak to Dr Charles in med, see if he can give you some sessions on how to deal with your anger and healthier ways of getting rid of it yeah? And I need you to promise us, if you ever get any type of urges, you need to tell us. Even if it means having cigarettes instead of drugs, It would be progress which we will be able to work with." Hank said, in a serious manor.  Antonio just nodded in agreement, and Ruze was looking at me to see my reaction. 

"What would happen if I was to fail a drug test though?" I questioned. Because, that was sort of nerve racking. I appreciate that I'm allowed cigarettes instead, but sometimes I just need some type of drug. Something a bit stronger. which is an issue if I I'm getting tested for that type of shit weekly. A major issue.

"Well hopefully we wont have to find out. Isn't that right lee?" Antonio said, looking at me with playful eyes. I just grinned and slowly nodded my head. A way of saying 'I'll try' I suppose. And I will most definitely try, I'm sick of letting people down. Because I want them to be proud of me always, not just for trying. But for doing. Holy shit that was poetic LOL.

"You didn't answer my question before though Lee, and I genuinely do need to know for your safety. What else do you have." Hank said, even more serious than before. And don't even ask me how that's possible because I genuinely don't know myself.  

"Just weed, quite a bit of it like, but nothing serious." I said quietly. Sort of ashamed of myself for it. I honestly wish my brain wasn't fucked up like this. It pisses me right off. 

"Proud of you bud." Ruze said while rubbing my shoulder. Not like rubbing it, but like.... how the fuck do I describe it. Patting it. I don't know, but you must understand what I mean. I bloody hope you do anyway cos I don't know any other way to describe it.

"Thank you for telling me. I'll give Dr Charles a call asap to see if he is free at any point, the sooner the better. And then when we get home, we'll get rid of anything you have left." Hank said, with a reassuring smile. 

I'm getting help. 

I'm getting the help I need.

"But for now you can sit in my office with me again." Hank said, I just nodded because I couldn't really say no to be honest could I.

"Oh wait, one more thing. Pass me your phone." He said, holding out his hand. I just looked at him shocked. 

"What why?!" I questioned, Tonio and Ruze didn't say anything almost like it was obvious why and I just wasn't catching on. And to be honest, it was quite obvious now I think about it, but I'm a bit dense when it comes to things like this lets be real.

"I don't want any influences on your phone. Drug dealers, bad crowds, non of that. If you wanna get clean you got to get rid of all of that kid." He stated. Yeah it really was quite obvious.

"But I can't just block all my friends. And my dealers a nice guy in general to talk to so yano....." I said, trying to push my luck. But when I looked at Hank I realized it really wasn't happening. "Ok ok fine, I'll block my dealer." I huffed. "But I'm not blocking my friends, fuck that." I finished. 

"Lee, you got to show you want this. You got to prove it to us." Tonio said. And I sorta understood what he was saying, but at the same time.. these are my friends bro. I can't do them dirty like that. 

"I'll prove it by doing a drug test every week. I aint blocking my friends, end of" I said, trying to keep my cool. Wasn't working very well but I think Hank got the point because he stopped pushing me to do it after that. 

"Alright, calm down champ. As long as you keep negative tests, you don't have to block your friends. But Dan we're being serious now, you got to tell us if they try and message you to come out and do stuff, or start sending you pictures of things because your main goal is to keep a distance from said things. And if they make that difficult, your going to have to drop them kid." Hank said, in a positive way though. He's only trying to get me to do what's best for me.

I just nodded, and we all left the locker room to go back to where we originally where. I was back to sitting in Hanks office, while he called Dr Charles.

"Ok, Thank doc." He put the phone down. "Dr Charles has a free space in an hour, so we can go see him and try and sort out some things. Sound good?" He asked. 

"Will you be able to stay with me Hank? I'm not very good with talking to rando's." I said. To be fair it's quite funny I said that, because about 2 months ago Hank was a complete stranger to me and now I'm living with the geezer and accidentally calling him dad from time to time.  Absolute madness that init? 

"I'm sure I will be allowed to, and if I'm not don't worry. Dr Charles is a nice guy. Don't worry kid, you'll be alright." He said, giving me a sweet smile at the end. Imagine how miserable my life would be if I decided to go into a group home instead of with the sergeant. Crazy to think about that, it really is. 

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