The First Steps

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I felt relieved at the conversation. Discussing everything that has boiled inside helped alleviate the pressure. There has to be a way to fully merge those two beings in me. The one who is vulnerable and the one who is a warrior. My body was even changing with everything occurring as charcoal black fur began to coat my paws but it wasn't like the patch I had matching Jason's coat. 

I frowned slightly, what brought this sudden change? This calm I feel? Maybe it was seeing my mother again. The disappointment she must have looking down upon me. As I began to sink further into what she would be thinking, Seth entered the room.

His eyes beamed at the sight of his mate but they quickly shifted to me. He put a protective hand on Ash's shoulder and glared down at me. Ash tensed slightly at the shift of energy in the room and I could see Seths grip change to one of comfort. 

"What's going on here?" His tone wavered as he tried to keep his irritation in check.

Ash looked a bit nervous as his eyes darted between the two of us. I avoided his gaze, unsure if speaking now would be a good idea.

"O-oh. Good morning! Um.. Dustin and I were just chatting!" He turned slightly to grip his mates hand and instantly I saw Seth's eyes soften.

"Raven and I will be heading into town to do some research at the library. I invited both you and Ash along since maybe we can figure out what we both are."

Seth hesitated with his words and looked down at his mate. I watched them briefly as they communicated via mind link. The sight aggravated me so I shifted my attention to the table.

"That's fine. However -" Seth placed his hands down on the table and stared down at me again. I darted my eyes to his seething gaze, slightly challenging the aggression he was giving me. "I don't want to hear a single degrading word about my mate. I don't care what high and mighty wolf you think you are- you get no right in speaking to him in the way you have been. I will step in if it happens." He growled.

I shifted uncomfortably as I felt the flame flickering again. Who does he think he is? How da-

I grit my teeth to stop the thought. Deep breaths.. deep breaths.

He has every right to protect his mate. I've said cruel things to Ash and it's okay for them to be wary. I was even prepared to kill him at one point from blood lust. He can defend him.. It's fine.

 I wonder what it might feel like to have a partner defend and protect you like that. Seth and Ash truly do seem made for each other.

"Understood." I gave him a curt nod.

Ash seemed to shrink down a bit at the slight confrontation.

"It will be okay! The good thing is that Dustin actually apologized to me this morning." He reached his other hand out and placed it over mine. I felt a calm aura wash over me. It reminded me of the Luna but a bit different.. I still was in control of my choices and actions but it took the edge off and let me think more clearly.

"He has a lot more to do than just apologize." He scoffed, "But I am happy to see this step. We will go with you into town. Will you be bringing Jason along? I have a feeling the Alpha and Luna won't allow you out."

I pulled my hand from Ash and crossed my arms. I hadn't wanted my mate to be there. I was still so conflicted about my wolf wanting him and the human hating him. Perhaps, time out will make our relationship tolerable? I may never love him after what he has done but I can't say I haven't done terrible things too. Does that even work in balancing things out though? I worry my life will be spent never getting to feel love for my mate, someone who is supposed to be my life partner. And seeing others around me, protective of each other and so infatuated, hurts.

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