Nobody Says It's Easy

21

"Beanie," Hadley asked, "what's that?"

"A footlocker."

"I thought you'd pack your stuff in a backpack or something."

"Most of my stuff's in that backpack leaning against the tree."

"Then, what's in the locker?"

"Don't you trust me? I didn't steal it or anything."

"I know that. What's in the locker?"

"My tent and sleeping bag. I got Granny Dilce to bless them for me the day I got them."

Granny Dilce was what was known as a granny witch – part sorcerer, part herbalist. If she hadn't been so worn out, she'd have questioned him a little more, but it seemed perfectly logical at the time that Beanie's little tent and sleeping bag could be stored in an army footlocker and that he would have had Dilce bless them for him.

"Okay," she said, "we'll stow your stuff on the luggage rack and go by my house for the coolers and food and my clothes."

Beanie was only too happy to help Hadley put away the gear. They had everything in the car, or on top of it, and were soon headed back to Gulley Rocks to pick up Lou Edna.

"You know," said Beanie, "I was so happy about going camping I forgot to ask you what you did with the straw man."

"Oh, I stashed him in the garage."

"Are you sure that's a good idea?"

"Beanie, that thing is just somebody's idea of a joke. I had so much to do to get ready I didn't know what else to do with him. I couldn't leave him sitting on a rocker on my front porch, could I? The neighbors would complain."

"No. You're right. He'd scare the mailman to death."

"So, the easiest thing to do was store him in the garage."

Beanie closed his eyes and began frantically moving his lips.

"What are you doing?"

"Garage praying."

"What?"

"You heard me. I'm praying for your garage. I also threw in a few words for Onus while you're away."

"Maury will take good care of Onus, Bean. Don't worry."

"I'm not worried about Maury. She'll take good care of Onus, Hadley. I just hope Straw Man leaves them both alone."

"Don't worry about that either, Bean. I've told you. He's nothing but a scarecrow. Nothing more. Nothing less. I'm just sorry that prank scared you so badly."

"But putting a good word in with the Man upstairs never hurts. It always helps to stay on His good side."

The crease between Hadley's eyebrows deepened.

"Uh, Bean."

"Uh-huh."

"Promise me you'll try to remember something very, very important for me."

"Sure. What is it?"

"Please remember to put down the lid when you use the bathroom in Lou's little trailer."

"Oh, Hadley. You're such a worrier. I'm camping. Did you forget?"

"Of course not. What's that got to do with anything?"

"Nobody who's a real camper thinks of using indoor toilets. That's against the Big Book."

"What Big Book?"

"The Big Book of Don't You Even Think About Breaking Camping Rules."

"I'll have to remember that when I try to explain to Lou Edna why you and the Tidy Bowl man are going to be total strangers this trip."

"Huh?"

"Nothing, Bean."

"I'm glad because I don't even begin to know anybody named Tidy Bowl."

"He's kin to Mr. Clean," Hadley said.

"Is he? I don't know no Cleans neither."

"That's okay. I think they're all distant relatives of Lou Edna."

"I didn't know she had such a big family. Are they inbred, too?"

"Probably," she said. "But don't tell Lou I said so."

"Oh, I won't," he said. "A blueberry pie secret, Hadley?"

"They're the best kind, Bean," she said. "The very best kind."