Loyalties - Ike Koffin (OC)

• Six •

I lean back against the cushion of the passenger seat with head tilted down and hands wringing anxiously in my lap as Ike silently counts the money beside me.

The car is silent, with Beth no longer sobbing or sniffling in the backseat. It's unusual, but I'm grateful for the moments peace. I need it. Especially after all that has transpired and all that I am currently internally working through. Things feel so heavy and so conflicting that I'm struggling to keep up.

My loyalties are repeatedly being put to question; my feelings challenged to their core. It's exhausting, to say the least.

Beth is my older sister. She is my family; my blood. We owe each other loyalty just because of that simple fact. But again, I feel that loyalty waver every now and then. Mainly, when I look back at our lives together as siblings - to the moments when she has offered me no real backup or support. To the moments where her friends bullied me through the years or she would allow me to take the fall for her wrongs committed.

Time and time again, Beth had let me down and prioritised her own safety, feelings, and personal relationships over our sacred sister bond. She has repeatedly shown me that I am not a priority in her life and that she would throw me under the bus at any opportunity posed. Meanwhile, I would willingly give my life to save hers.

Then there's Ike...

A criminal, a thief, and a murderer. A man morally corrupt and tainted with blood-soaked hands. A man who would kill me if his mother ordered him to. He is someone I should fear and despise. Someone to run as far away from without a glance back.

But I can't bring myself to feel those things. I can't convince myself that he would ever intentionally hurt me because deep down in my heart and soul, I know he couldn't. He shows it in the way he touches me with care and tenderness. The way he looks at me like I'm a precious angel walking the earth.