Not a Soldier Yet |Ao'nung x Neteyam|

50. The Road Ahead

"Neteyam, come outside with me," Jake whispered into the silence of the night, aware that Neteyam had yet to fall asleep.

Neteyam felt his heart drop into his stomach; his throat tightened with nerves and tears welled in his eyes as he slowly sat up, locating his father standing in the entrance by his glowing freckles. Neteyam limped to him, filled with shame. Jake placed a hand on his back and led him outside.

"Sir, I'm so sorry, I-" Neteyam began, voice shaking and weak; Jake placed a hand on his cheek and shushed him.
"It's okay, my beautiful boy, it's okay. I'm not mad at you. I'm not. It's okay, baby boy. Come here," Jake murmured to him, wrapping his son in his arms. Neteyam had not quite grown as tall as his, nor as strong. Jake assumed it was the human genes keeping on the smaller side. It made the na'vi want to protect his son even more.

Neteyam felt weightless in his father's strong arms. Jake was his fortress, his army of protection. Closing his eyes, he inhaled his father's comforting scent, nuzzling into his chest, eyes wet.
Jake led them to sit on the soft sands and pulled Neteyam into his lap, cradling him close, knowing he needed all the love his father could give him.

Neteyam took a deep breath through his nose. "I'm sorry I snapped at you when you were only concerned for how Ao'nung was treating me."

"It's in the past now, baby, it's alright. I shouldn't have been so pushy with you." Jake caressed his shoulder with light fingertips, tracing the stripes there.

"No, dad, let me explain, please," Neteyam pleaded, making his father fall silent. Neteyam pulled his knees up, cuddling closer against his father's strong chest. Discomfort surfaced in his chest, but he willed it away. "Ao'nung doesn't hurt me, I asked him to be rough because I-"

A moment of silence fell over them before understanding dawned on Jake, and his blood ran cold. Toruk Makto blinked away helpless tears as he realised his son had asked to be hurt in such a special, private part of his relationship just to feel something.
"Neteyam, are you sure nothing happened to you?"

Neteyam's mouth shut with an audible click of his teeth, and fat tears fell down his cheeks. "That would make it better, right? Then I wouldn't be so messed up for no reason."

"Baby boy, listen to me. You're not messed up. The guys who hurt you, they are messed up, but not you. Never you." Jake rubbed his hand up and down his sobbing son's back.

"But dad, it would make sense for me to be like this if somebody had hurt me in such a way. But they never did, and I still do so many horrible things to myself."
At Neteyam's words, Jake's own tears began to fall. He felt like someone was suffocating him, tight hands wrapped around his throat, cutting of his air cruelly.

Jake continued whispering comfort into his son's twitching ears, rocking them both back and forth in a gentle attempt to soothe the crying. Neteyam fell asleep against his chest, exhausted and throat raw.
Jake laid down on the sand with his son lying on his chest, holding him as he slept.

Neteyam woke up groggy and disconnected from his surroundings. He breathed out through his nose before sniffling quietly and lifting his head off the soft, warm surface it was lying on.
Jake noticed that his son had woken up and placed a hand in the back of his head, caressing his sandy braids. Neteyam wiggled around a lot that night, keeping Jake awake for most of the hours. Jake did not mind. He knew he had not been the best father for the last couple of days, all but ignoring his suffering son.

"How are you feeling, sleepy head?" Jake asked fondly, watching as Neteyam blinked at him slowly, sleep still in his eyes.
Neteyam nodded slowly, not yet feeling like talking. He stretched his limbs out and yawned, lying completely on his father. Jake chuckled and flicked the tip of his son's ear lightly, watching as it twitched in answer.
Neteyam grumbled something before pressing his face into the crook of Jake's neck, searching innocently for comfort.

A shadow fell over them.
Jake lifted his gaze and saw Tonowari standing over them. A small wooden plate of herbs was in his large hand. He had his sleeping son tied to his front. Jake laughed quietly at the parallel and nudged Neteyam to sit up.

"Jake Sully," Tonowari greeted. "Neteyam."

Jake stood up, dusting himself off before helping Neteyam to his feet, letting his son lean against his side as he too greeted the Olo'eyktan in return.
"Tonowari. How can I help you?"

"I have brought this herb for your son. Ronal has been making it for the last 5 turns of the moon." Tonowari lifted the bowl to show its soft green contents. He placed his other hand on his son's head, caressing the soft, fluffy curls. "It helps soothe the mind without dulling it."

Neteyam's brows furrowed, watching as his father and the chief spoke about the herb, Tonowari explaining the ingredients and how it is made.
"This should last you the exact time it has taken to make."

"Thank you, Tonowari, " Jake breathed, taking the bowl and handing it to Neteyam so he could shake hands with the Olo'eyktan. "You don't know how much this means to me."

Tonowari waved him off. "Do not thank me. You would do the same for Ao'nung, I am sure of it."

Neteyam was sure, too. The young male knew his father would abandon anything to help those in need. Lifting the bowl, he sniffed it curiously, not noticing both older men as they watched him, amused.
Neteyam's nose scrunched up. The smell was not entirely unpleasant, but he still found it hard to enjoy it.

Tonowari spoke again. "You only need to dip your finger in it, then rub it to the roof of your mouth."

Neteyam nodded. "How often should I do that?"

Jake took the bowl back once Neteyam dipped his finger inside. Tonowari watched him, lolling side to side to keep his new baby from waking. "You cannot do it too many times, but I still advise that you use it only once a day unless you are feeling more restless than usual."

"May I?" Neteyam asked, lifting his finger.
Tonowari's eyes lingered on his still bruised wrist before the Olo'eyktan nodded.
Neteyam pressed his fingertip to the roof of his mouth, massaging the liquid into the smooth skin there for a few moments before removing his hand from his face. He glanced between his father and Tonowari curiously, wondering if the herb would affect him fast enough to be noticeable already, before their conversation ended.

The liquid was cool against his skin. It tasted similar to a minty human sweet Norm had sent him and his siblings when they were little.
He felt his stomachache fade and his jaw unclench. Neteyam stared up at his father in amazement, grasping the taller man's arm.