Look After You {Completed}

XI. November

~November~ 

                                                If ever there was a doubt

                                                My love she leans into me

                                                This most assuredly counts

                                                She says most assuredly

Dear Mina,

            Cowardly fool.

            Is that what you called me one time when I refused to talk to you about my family?

            I guess you already know this, and its probably too late to say that I’m an idiot who people say that its easier to draw emotions from a rock than from me, but I have to tell you this.

            It’s probably the after effects of coffee at two in the morning, rolling around in my empty stomach but I am a coward.

            A fool really.

            I’m a fool for letting you walk out that door.

            For not catching your wrist and bringing your face close to mine, whispering what I have longed to say.

            I’m a fool for letting you believe that you weren’t good enough. I will regret it everyday for the rest of my life because I should have done more than my usual ‘no you’re not’ response.

            I am sorry.

            You are beautiful. You are sensitive. You cry really easily. You get irritated really easily and you often have a strong sense of self-efficacy and changing the world.

            I love all of the things stated above.

            I don’t care how cliché and over used the word ‘beautiful’ is because when it comes to you, there’s no lying.

            I love you and it is because I love you that I am not even worthy of you.

            I always wonder what you saw in me the fist day you walked into the diner. What was it that made you sit with me?

            I’m broken and useless yet you still stayed.

            I want to see you. To touch your cheek and whisper, “finally, we’re together”

            If you want to see a Mulan a million times, I will do it. If you want a billion peanut butter sandwiches, I will make them for you. If you want to go to parties and dance, I’ll go there with you. If you want someone to cry on, I’ll be there for you, my love. If you want to dance randomly at night under the moon, I’ll ask you what music you would want to play, and if you wanted to scream and yell, I would silently sit and listen.

            I’ll do it all.

            And if you ever doubted my love for you, all you would have to do is look back at these letters and touch your heart, because I will be right there, wherever you are.

            “You can build as many walls around yourself until it reaches the sky, but I will find a way to fly over them.”

                                                ~Love always,

                                                            Jace.