Drowning|| Drug Addict Bakugo

32

"Here's the bag, again, I'm sorry for bringing him home so early," Mic said with a sad smile. "I'm just happy he's okay," Hasa said. I'm sitting on the couch, staring at the ceiling as I find shapes. It's my favorite pass time. There's so many different things.

"He had two lines from what I heard. He did try to steal the bag, but not very hard. Hitoshi said he was trying to do it slowly, so I assume he was in a daze," Mic said. "I'll talk to him when he sobers up," she said with a sigh. I look over at them and smile. They smile back at me before they leave out of the house through the front door. I hear footsteps from the stairs and looked over to see Sero. He plopped down next to me.

"That didn't last long," he muttered. "They got into a fight," I said with a shrug. "Huh- I don't think I could imagine Shinsou fighting people," Sero said. "I need a beer, I'll be back," he said as he stood up. I nodded with a small hun as I returned my journey to find shapes in the roof. He sat next to me and took a swig from the bottle.

"You know, I realized that no matter how much better you think someone is getting, there will always be moments when you realize they're still an addict," Sero said. I chuckled and sighed. "I'm doing my best," I mumbled. My ears rang and my mind was everywhere in all the good ways. "You know, when I was with the villains, Dabi gave me heroin. That was the best high I've ever had. Barely remembered a thing when I woke up, but I remember how free I felt. Far better than coke. I would love to try that shit again," I muttered. "I assume so. That shit is hella illegal though. Worse than coke," he said calmly. "I know. It's upsetting. I could be high off my ass, I could just do, not think. That's what I did when I let Dabi fuck the shit out of me. At least, I'm pretty sure he did. I am still not 100% sure, but I felt sore and I remember chunks of it," I said with a small laugh.

"Ever heard of TMI?" Sero snorted out. I shrugged as I continued to stare at the roof. "They were fighting because of me. I had a panic attack and they helped me. And then I asked for two lines. Aizawa asked if I could only have one, and it pissed me off but I kindly asked for two. He grabbed it, handed it to me and stormed off. Hito helped me because of my shaking. When I was done, he left the closed bag right in front of me on the table. I really wanted it," I explained. He hummed in response to tell me he was listening.

"I got really in my head. My mind kept telling me that I could grab it and run. And then I could take it all, have the best high of my life, and then die. It sounded so nice. I was hesitant at first. I kept thinking about everyone and everything I wanted to be. But then I remembered I probably can't be a hero so I decided to do it. But Hito yelled at me before I could. He grabbed it. I was so out of it, I didn't even realize it wasn't in my hands. I wasn't even high at that point, I was just so disassociated. He got mad. Really mad. And then when he stood up angrily, I flinched. And that made him more mad. Aizawa yelled at him after hearing his yelling and came to help. It turned into a fight, but I couldn't even hear them. I was brought back to when my mom and dad would argue about me. And then Mic touched me. And I flipped out. Then the high kicked in, and suddenly- all the panic was gone. I felt good. I didn't want to die, I could breathe. As much as being clean will help me in the long run, being high helps me more. I'm scared to let go of that. It was an escape. It helped me leave the flashback. I can't let go of that. It's the only thing that was able to ground me at that moment. I couldn't even hear anyone who was trying to help. The only way I was dragged out was the high," I explained as I stared at the roof.

"Oh...I- I'm so sorry Kat," Sero responded with a sad tone. "I don't know how to give that up. I don't know how to give up the only thing that can save me from myself," I muttered. "On Monday, you need to tell this to your therapist," Sero mumbled. "Because, I don't know what to even say."

"I didn't expect you to. I just thought you should know. Want to play mario kart? I feel like kicking your ass," I said with a smirk. "Sure," he said as he stood up. He helped me up and we went to his room.