Drowning|| Drug Addict Bakugo

40

Today is my first NA meeting. I had agreed to go a few weeks back after my relapse. I needed extra help, and Mahu said this could be that for me. I walked up to the building and took a deep breathe before entering.

"Good afternoon!" A receptionist said. She signed me in and lead me to a room. The door opened and there were a few other people sitting in chairs that faced towards a podium in the front. I sat in the back and tapped my foot nervously as more and more people came in. None looked even close to my age, all older people.

"Hello, everyone. Today, we have three new members, we're happy you're here!" A man said as he stood tall at the podium. "Today, we're going to be talking about what we've overcome this week and how we can go through it in better ways or if we did it the right way," he said with a warm smile. Someone stood and rode their hand. He was tall and had dark brown hair that reached down to his mid back. He was scrawny and his arms were littered with all sorts of scars, cuts, cigarette burns and what looked to be needle punctures. "My name is Kozai," he mumbled. Everyone else said hello before he started talking.

"My ex came back the other day. Offered me meth in trade for dating him. I almost agreed, but I said no. He hit me really hard, but my roommate called the police on him and he got arrested," Kozai said quietly. Everyone clapped softly so I followed along. "Thank you for sharing. You were so strong to turn down your addiction and I'm glad someone was there to help you. Any one else?" The spokesperson asked. Other people shared and got compliments and tips. I sat nervously. How was this supposed to help? I don't wanna share my story. I don't wanna open up to all these strangers. What if they judge me for being so young? What if they make fun of me? What if I say the wrong thing?

"You should share.." someone whispered. I looked over and saw a young adult with white hair sitting next to me. She had wraps all up her arms and her body structure was small and scrawny. "You look like you're itching to say something. Don't be afraid. No one will judge," she said quietly with a warm smile. "I-I don't know.." I stammered as I picked my nails. "Will it help?" I asked. "For most, it does. Just try. It helps not knowing the people personally. For me, it's like I'm just telling it to a diary," she said. I nodded and took a deep breathe before standing.

"M-my name is Kat." Everyone said hello and my body trembled with nerves. "It wasn't this week.. but a few weeks ago, I had a relapse. I was a week clean and had even celebrated it. But I was told I couldn't achieve my goals because I already messed my life up. With everything happening all at once, that pride in being clean vanished and I needed it. I now realize it was a mistake and I'm trying to use that as a step for this long staircase up into recovery," I said quietly. I sat back down and everyone clapped.

"Thank you for confessing. That's the tough thing about recovery is that people will try to push you back down the rabbit hole you're stuck in. The best we can do is push past that, reach out, and use your resources to get help," he said with a smile. I nodded and felt a hand placed lightly on my shoulder. "That was amazing. How do you feel?" She asked. "I feel okay," I mumbled to myself with a small smile.

I walked out and entered moms car. "How was it?" She asked as she pulled out of the parking spot. "It was good. I liked it a lot. It's a bunch of strangers talking about what we experienced this week and we got advice. Everyone seemed really nice and not judgmental like I thought they'd be," I explained. She nodded and continued to drive until we got home. I laid on my bed and let out a sigh from exhaustion. Suddenly my phone vibrated.

Shinsou: I know it's been a while. How have you been?

Me: pretty good actually. I've found myself more

Shinsou: that's amazing. Dad told me you feel more like a girl?

Me: sorta. I like my body but I like the she's and girl's and stuff like that. Also I LOVE wearing skirts