Regenesis

Alexandra - Arrival

As the car rolled to a stop, Alexandra's head jolted slightly and she opened her eyes sleepily. For a moment confusion reigned in her head, and then it all came flooding back: the car journey, the seat harness, Miss Redwood sitting imperiously in the front seat, and the awful braces lock on her teeth. Alexandra turned her head to see where they were and the colour drained from her face. Through the orange glow of the streetlights, she immediately recognised where they were. The middle class suburb where she had grown up ....... Although she hadn't been here for over a year, nothing seemed to have changed. The neighbours' gardens looked as neat as usual and there were a few "for sale" signs up.

Without a word, Miss Redwood got out of the car, closing the door behind her. She crossed the road and, after adjusting her hat, she walked up the path to Alexandra's house. After a very few seconds, the front door opened and Alexandra could see the outline of her mother silhouetted against the warm and homely light coming from the hall. She beckoned Miss Redwood in, stepping to one side, and casting a furtive glance into the street. Alexandra assumed this was to see where her daughter was, but then wondered if it might be to see which of the neighbours might be watching and making up their own minds about what was going on.

As Alexandra's eyes began to adjust to the light outside the car, she could make out more details within the house, although the window had been partly obscured by a large dark square which seemed to have been attached along the top of the main pane of glass. The lights were on in the living-room and she could make out familiar details like the TV in the corner and the mantelpiece with its proud photos. She wondered if her photos were still there, or if her misdeeds had caused them to be packed away, out of sight. She saw a figure enter the living-room and move towards the window. Her sister's face peered out expectantly. Alexandra briefly lifted her hand to wave, but thought better of it. She watched as her sister reached up in the window and removed the obstruction which seemed to have been taped up there. It was only when the interior light shone down on the paper that she realised it was a hand-drawn poster with "Welcome Home" painted in bright colourful lettering. Tears immediately sprang to Alexandra's eyes as she felt such an enormous wave of emotions flood through her: memories of when she had last seen her house, her sister standing at the front door, waving her off mournfully. She revisited the deep sense of regret for all the upset she had caused her family. Her mind raced with the myriad concerns she had about coming home again. Surely this wasn't the end of her time in Iuvenham? Why was Miss Redwood here as well? Why wasn't she going in now? and worse, what would her family think of her appearance, her infantile school uniform, her childish hairstyle, complete with ribbons, and her braces.....? She watched as the curtains were drawn together in the living room, ensuring the privacy of what was to come, and keeping the shame within the four walls of the family home.

The driver sitting in front of her, glanced back at her in the rearview mirror but remained silent. She had made these trips before and knew exactly what they entailed. Without any outside distraction Alexandra only had her thoughts and fears to fill her mind. Butterflies began to flap their tiny wings inside her, and she immediately recognised the familiar pressure in her bladder. please....no....not now. Last night's injection seemed out of routine, especially for someone so strict about routine and regularity as Miss Redwood. Alexandra no longer trembled every time she saw the syringe after bath time every Thursday night. Apart from the growing numbness and the ache which grew in her bottom for a few minutes after the needle had been pulled out of her, she had begun to accept the ritual as she had accepted everything else in her life since she had been sent to Iuvenham. Alexandra's complete surprise at each and every new routine or unusual occurrence she had encountered in her new environment had been universally met with an equal and opposite straight face, even nonchalance, as if whatever was being done to her was completely normal, routine and just how things were done. Having been restricted to the confines of first the Nursery at Iuvenham, and more recently Miss Redwood's home, she had not realised how accustomed she had grown to these new realities, but sitting here, outside her own home, brought back the memories of how things used to be. She had been a happy-go-lucky teenager who had friends at the local school, who used to meet up at the local park and buy chips to eat under a bus shelter when it was raining. She could wear pretty much what she wanted and, so long as she stayed within the quite loose boundaries set by her parents, was free to do what she liked. She looked up the street and saw a lady approaching, walking her dog. She was wearing sweat pants and trainers and a T shirt. How long had it been since Alexandra had even seen anyone wearing such clothes, let alone worn them herself? From behind the car she could hear the boisterous voices of two girls younger than herself, laughing about a boy at school. The voices seemed incongruous with how she had been expected to behave for the last year. Such raised voices would have earned her an immediate leg slapping, no matter where she was, at home, in company or even in the street like these girls. The girls carried on up the road, laughing and shrieking. She actually found herself disapproving of those girls.....what had happened to her?