The Lie (Captain Rex)

(II) - Metaphysics

Preface:
Jedi mystery! The padawan sets out for one of their usual training sessions, but accidentally discover a dark new facet to their abilities. Will it show to be a gift, or a curse? And can the padawan really learn to stay in the light side of the Force?

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It happened during training.

Wind seized sheets of rain upwards and flung them at you in the forest clearing, where you stood panting in the little arena. Trees around you bowed, the sky a thick, stormy gray that shielded you from the harsh sun. The howling gale sent ripples through the dewy grass all around you, and you tasted the sweat mingled with rain run down into your mouth as you faced your opponent.

He tilted his head challengingly, shifting his grip on the polearm. "Come on, Y/N! Hold your balance, but do not simply stand there like a dazed womp rat," Obi-Wan threw his voice across the arena.

"Uh- how do I do that? Could you tell me how-"

"In a real battle, the droids aren't going to tell you how to fight!" Obi-Wan called back to you. You shifted your grip on the staff uneasily.

"Maybe we could-"

"En garde!"

Quick, he lunged at you with the blunt end. You parried with your own staff. It struck with a hollow thwick!, and Obi-Wan advanced on you. One strike. One step forwards, each time met with your own staff. You whipped round his other side, seeking an in. He crouched and knocked your legs from under you, and you landed painfully on your stomach, with your staff clattering pitifully to the ground besides you. You smelled the rain evaporating on the musty arena floor.

"Now, that won't do. Although, I must say," he said as he helped you up, "you lasted a lot longer this time. Well done, young one." You nodded, still out of breath. He patted your back with a gleam of pride, and the both of you trekked back to the small Padawan training area.

Down the winding gravelly path, beyond the swaying trees and whispering grasses, past the skittering squirrels and the blinking fireflies that dawned as the rain cleared out; the two of you finally arrived at the base just when sunset ended and the world went dark. It was a sturdy little dome of a base, sitting humbly up in the tree platforms; its windows cast welcoming golden light that warded off the shadows, and off to the side of it was a landing platform where your ship stood, still guarded for this endeavor. The two clones caught sight of you and saluted. Obi-Wan dismissed them and you went inside the building.

You passed the warm, homely foyer, following the carpeted floors to enter an even smaller room, where Master Yoda was sitting, prepared for the both of you. His eyes remained shut, even as you two approached. "Master," Obi-Wan addressed him. "We have arrived for the lesson."

"Hmm?" Yoda opened his eyes and narrowed them at you. "Good, good..." He set his cane down and crossed his legs, motioning to two other seats on the floor. "Please, with me meditate, Padawan and Master. Crucial to your development it is, young one." Unease crawled down your spine when his large, shrewd eyes glanced up at you.

"Yes, Master," you murmured. The candles behind you flickered. Obi-Wan and you eased yourselves onto the pillowed floor, and sat cross-legged in silence but for the crackling of fire and faint leaves rustling in the storm behind the walls. "What do I do now?"

"Hm. Meditate, you must," Yoda said. His eyes shut peacefully and he seemed to drift off into another world.

Obi-Wan did the same. "Yes. There is a method to it," he breathed. "Close your eyes and feel the force flow through you."

You did as instructed. You saw the light behind your eyelids, inhaled deeply, and waited.

...

Nothing.

"Feel your connection to everything within the Force. Start with the people," murmured Obi-Wan.

Carefully, mentally, a hand of yours reached across the invisible tether that was the force. Immediately you were plunged into its depths. It was as though, at first you were swimming, a body contained within the blanket of the Force; then it lightened, became more dense and you floated up, up to the top, the dark waves lapping at your heels and immediately freezing hard and solid beneath you as you were gently set down onto the surface. Frigid ice at your fingertips.

It sharpened, became thinner and thinner; it wasn't in you anymore, it was you. You were it. You moved as one, you acted as one, and--you felt as one. You felt it; you felt your Master's mind within the plane and you seized it.

It was your own. It was your right, you felt the temptation, sweet and visceral. And you saw.

Ships flashing by, exploding into fireworks of smithereens and shrapnel; the oily glint of guns and dented, destroyed armor; yellow eyes, red, and his master's death; oh, and so, so, so much death. It was bottomless yet the ground continued to drop in a sinkhole ever under; it was unfathomable. It was something beyond what you knew to be true, something more. You wanted more.

A hand like a vice around your shoulder. You were torn out of your reverie, met with shocked wide eyes that darted furiously between you and Master Yoda. Dimly the setting of the room came back into view. Yoda's eyes were still shut. Obi-Wan seemed to gather himself, smoothing out his initial reaction. Finally, with salvaged composure he said, "Padawan Y/N. What have you done just this moment?" His voice remained careful, the tone evenly tempered yet still with an edge of suspicion. "What exactly did you feel when you meditated?"

You were breathing hard, palms still sweating as you looked down at them. "I don't- I'm sorry, Master, I don't really know. I reached out, and- and it reached back to me." Obi-Wan gazed at you with thoughtful, unhostile eyes.

"Yes, Y/N. Please calm down, we are now safe as of this moment."

"I know, Master. I'm well aware," you whispered back peevishly. "I don't know what happened, I swear."

Blue eyes glinted in candlelight and Obi-Wan turned away, his brow thoughtfully furrowed. Disappointed, most likely. Instantly you felt guilty for the hostility. Obi-Wan was an amazing teacher, but you weren't the best pupil. You tried. You really, really tried, and sometimes it just wasn't good enough. "I'm sorry," you conceded, quite unsatisfactory in your opinion.

"No- no, it's alright. There is just something that has been worrying me about your future, recently." Almost dejected, he hunched over with his hands steepled under his chin. "I cannot even begin to put it into words, Moonildt; but you have made me feel true, unrestrained fear for the first time in years. Master Yoda?"

Yoda finally opened his eyes; to your suspicion, he spoke as though there was some ordeal you did not know of. "Hmm, yes. I see it too. Jagged is the path for the Padawan; very dangerous it can be."

A light sigh from Obi-Wan. "No, no- I see that too, but-," he lowered his voice and leaned in to Yoda, "do you feel it too? The Force around them, the...flow?"

His eyes solemn, Master Yoda nodded. "Yes. Devastating this might be, for the young one."

"It is... nothing like I have ever felt before. It feels like more than simply mind tricks; I have reason to believe that Y/N's ability is...something be comprehended yet."

You glanced between the two of them. Anxiety uncoiled in your belly; surely you could not be so unlucky. It made you doubt everything--did you even belong in the Jedi Order, if it was all built on a lie? Did anyone?

But such things were treason, simple as that. They were not to be said; the Jedi were not to be criticized. And so, you remained silent and seething, just as you always had for the remainder of your past.