The Lie (Captain Rex)

(IV) - Beyond the Mirror

Kenobi was the one who found you.

He'd hugged you when you'd woken up. You hadn't thought you needed it, but the tears prickling in your eyes betrayed that sentiment better than any denial could bolster it.

It turned out that, after the meeting had ended, he had found the closet and knocked on the locked door, waking you from your trance. Besides him and Rex, everyone in the meeting was too caught up in arguing to have noticed that you were gone.

Trepidation gnawed ravenously at your insides. Should you have told him about the visions? Be careful who you trust.

He was clearly worried, but remained strangely silent as he directed you out into the hallway. You leaned a little into his side, exhausted, and he placed a reassuring hand on your upper back as though you might have toppled over. As you made your way down the hallway, he spoke up:

"Are you okay, Y/N?" he finally asked.

"Yes," you automatically replied. It seemed your lips could hear that phrase and immediately respond, no matter what the situation.

His brows furrowed a little. "Are you sure? I only later noticed that you had run off, in all that ruckus...I am truly sorry about that."

"I'm fine, Master," you said again. Knowing perfectly well you weren't. But it felt like a waste to have him to worry about you. "I promise."

"You haven't been...well...lately." He put a hand to his chin. "It feels like I am forsaking my responsibility as a mentor. I am sorry I haven't been there; it's just, with this war, and all this chaos..." He sighed, sounding weary by decades beyond his years.

"It's alright," you said, voice softening. "I understand. It can't be easy, managing so much at once."

The vision of that man flitted through your mind, before you crushed it like a butterfly's wings.

You reached a turn in the hallway, and Kenobi's hand dropped from your back. "I worry for you, child. The issue here is that you are very clearly bothered by something, but you don't seem to trust me enough to tell me about it."

Before you could deny it, he met your eyes, looking grave. "Please. You can tell me about anything, and we can work it out together. Don't let the damage stay internal, because it may fester, and become fatal. Tell me. Please, for your sake."

It hurt. It hurt so, so much; but you didn't meet his eyes, fixing your gaze on the cold metal floor. "I will," you shakily said. "When I'm ready. I promise."

For the first time in weeks, what left your mouth was not a lie.

Kenobi relented, visibly satisfied by your answer. "Alright then. I trust your word, and I will not force you to speak about something you cannot. Know that I only worry for your safety."

"Yeah..." you said softly. "What was the meeting's decision?"

"What? Oh, that. We decided to keep them prisoner on the grounds that they may provide us with vital information, and that the attack was inside Republic borders."

You pondered over that for a few moments as your steps echoed down the hallway, before bringing yourself to ask: "What's been up with Ahsoka?"

He paused. Answering this seemed to pain Obi-Wan, but he answered anyways. "She has also been having a tough time lately. I went to the Council to sort it out, ask for advice on how to help her--they told me to 'Leave it alone; let her find peace in the Force; trust in the force'; and whatnot..."

You were wordless. And maybe a little angry. The feeling tightened in your chest, sending burns through your insides. Typical. Poor Ahsoka.

Obi-Wan took note of your expression. "Me too, my Padawan. Me too. Frankly, I found that to be very unhelpful. Which is why Anakin and I personally arranged for some counseling with her, so that we can talk it all out--but please do not tell Master Windu."

"Of course I won't," you said, like it was the most obvious thing in the galaxy. His disobedience of council surprised you a little.

"It's not that I don't trust him--he is a worthy friend and a wise Jedi Master indeed. I merely felt the need to resolve this in a more...unorthodox manner. For the Jedi, at least," he reasoned airily.

That sent a little warmth through your heart. "I won't tell," you said again, resisting the smile pulling at your lips. "She'll appreciate it, I know."

"I do hope you're right."

A long, silent pause followed that remark. It dragged on, and through it resonated two pairs of boots on the carpeted Temple floor. Moonlight cast deep blue shadows over the two of you.

When the two of you neared the Council Chambers, Obi-Wan spoke up.

"I can tell you have a question. What do you wish to know, Moonildt?" he asked in a hushed whisper.

It took you by surprise, but you took it in stride. "What do you do to avoid forming attachments, Master?" you replied. Hoping he suspected nothing.

That sent a furrow in his brow. Briefly, he threw you a confused glance. "...Well. I did have one, long ago...but I was young, and we were both young. I know better, now. I still think about her, sometimes," he finished.

A moonlit pause. Obi-Wan continued. "The important thing to remember is the difference between attachment and connection. Attachment is dependency, where one is not able to survive without the other. Connection..."

Obi-Wan threw a wistful glance out the window, as though he were trying to let the moon itself know. "Connection is strength. Connection is passion, but not to the degree where passion is one's one driving force. That is the weakness of the dark side. Its dependency on something so fickle as passion."

Your mind couldn't seem to form the words to think, let alone verbally respond. "I...wow. Thank you, Master. You have helped me greatly."

A bittersweet little smile lit up his eyes, which twinkled in the starlight. "I hope so. Merely things my late Master taught me. I had best be going, now; I have a late-night meeting with the Council. You should go to bed, my padawan."

You assented with a slight nod. "Yes, Master. Goodbye."

As the two of you parted ways you became aware of a familiar presence. You could sense the people inside the Jedi Temple--teeming but muffled past the thick, metal walls. But you also knew that the 501st was temporarily lodging there, for a mission that could immediately be dispatched by Anakin Skywalker tomorrow morning.

Longing twisted your heart. It was too much.
One thing was certain.

You were not going to bed that night.

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A/N:

Next scene might just be what you think it is :)

Also, yes, the titles of these three chapters may or may not have been Spiderverse references 😭