Obsession

Nightmare

TRIGGER WARNING!!!!!!

It's been three hours since we left the hospital, and no words have been exchanged between us. This silence has lasted longer than ever before. Mo as always been a talkative person and to see her just sit there staring at nothing made my heart ache. It's my fault she's like this. If only I'd refused her following me in, she wouldn't have heard what the doctor said because I wouldn't have told her.

"Mo?" The moment I said her name, a heart wrecking cry left her lips. 

"Why did this have to happen to you? You've done nothing wrong in this life. You're such a good person, sometimes I wonder how you ever consider someone like me a friend and such cruel thing happened to you." Her sobs grew as she stood looking at me with the tears running down her face, her hands moved aimlessly as she spoke. She looked broken. I almost thought she was the one who got assaulted. 

"You have to tell me Dee, who did this to you? They have to, they will pay for this even if it's the last thing I do in this life. Tell me." She demanded. 

It's a pity. My best friend is here mourning over something that happened to me and here I was not feeling a thing. It was as if my feelings have been shut off. I now know something bad happened to me, but I just couldn't feel sad about it. 

I looked up at her from my position on the bed and sighed. 

"Mo, it's okay. Stop with the crying and acting as if someone died. I specifically told you I was fine before you dragged me to that godforsaken hospital, and look, now here you are raising your blood pressure over nothing. Just calm down, please." 

The look of disbelief spread across her face as her mouth opened. It looked as if she wanted to say something else but only a sob escaped. Rasing her hands to her head, she grabbed a fistful of hair in her hands and shook her head backing away from me. It was as if my words hurt her even more than she was hurting before. Without another word or glance at me, she took up her bag and left, slamming the door behind her. 

Sighing, I stood up and started cleaning up. She'll realize that she's overreacting and come back. 

________________________________________________________________

That night I fell asleep only to be woken up by a nightmare.

"Come closer." His voice sounded almost threatening, I didn't dare to disobey. Dragging my feet I walked closer to him and as soon as I was close enough, he pulled me in by my neck. 

"Why do you always deny me what's mine Deirdra? It's like you're begging me to punish you. Is that what you want? You want me to punish you?" I immediately shook my head in response causing him to chuckle. 

At this point my whole body was shaking. And at the same time, it felt I had no control over my body. Unable to move my head, using my eyes I looked around trying to identify where I was but all I saw was darkness. Even he looked like darkness. 

"You've been a bad girl love and bad girls get punished." 

It was as if everything shifted and before I knew it, we were no longer in the dark room but in my mom's hospital room. The sight of her tied to the bed with the mouth sealed shut and the tears running down her face, made me feel as if my whole existence was crumbling. My heart no longer felt as if it was in my chest but on it, my mouth was parched, and my eyes were blurred with tears. 

"Take off all your clothes." This demand made my head snap towards the monster that is tormenting me. I was no longer looking at a human being. It looked as if he was now a demon with horns, sharp teeth and long fingers ready to ripe me apart. I wanted the ground to open and swallow me in that moment. 

Shaking my head, I looked at him with pleading eyes. 

"Take them off Dee, let your mom see how much of a slut you are."  When I hesitated again, I heard a scream left my mom. Her mouth was no longer sealed but now she was screaming in pain. It was as if he was hurting her even though he was across the room from her. 

Hurriedly, I removed my clothes and stood there crying in front of him. I felt so ashamed and disgusted with myself and the thought of my mother witnessing this made it worse. Nothing prepared me for what he said next.

"You look delicious enough to eat love.... I think I'm going to do just that." With that he bit into neck causing an ear-piercing scream to leave my lips.

My bed was soaked from the amount of sweat that was leaving my body. Looking around my room, I no longer felt safe. It was as if I was being watched at every corner. And the nightmare I just had made me realize that I underreacted to the situation that I was in. I was raped, and from the doctor's report, I was seriously bruised down there, from my cervix, outwards. The bleeding hadn't stopped, causing me to have to continue wearing pads. It was as if everything was coming back to me now and the pain in my belly made it impossible for me to pretend any longer, that nothing happened and that I was okay. 

I remember now. From Mrs. Russo rushing out of the house, me taking a tour, to finding his room. Him acting as if we'd met before, to him forcing himself on me. 

I cried.

I cried, throwing the blanket off my body, standing from the bed pushing everything off it. Taking up my bedside lamp of the table, I smashed it to the wall. I then walked over to my dresser and swiped my arm across it causing everything to fall off with a loud crash. I took up a one of my heeled shoes and threw it at the mirror causing it to smash to pieces, some splinters piercing through my skin. I stopped and looked at myself in the broken mirror, with barely any glass left. The woman who stared back at me looked like a stranger. Nothing about her seemed familiar. Tears and snot running down her face, along with a glimpse of blood from the splinters. Her hair was a mess on her head and her eyes were dark, almost soulless. 

I wanted it to stop. The pain I was feeling was too overwhelming, more than anything I've ever felt. Before I realized what I was doing, my fingers were digging into my skin. Clawing and scrapping, in hopes of the feeling I was having inside would come out, leaving me for good. It didn't hurt but it also did not help me. I was bleeding all over and my clothes was stained with my blood. 

Stooping down, I took up a shard of glass and held it close to my face. Catching a glimpse of myself, I quickly turned it around and held it to my arm. 

"Just one slit." I told myself.

My body felt light. I was finally free. It didn't hurt anymore. 

Smiling, I closed my eyes and let out a breath of relief. 

_______________________________________________________

Hey......😬
So, I know it's been forever since I've updated this book but I promise that's gonna change. I see y'all asking for the updates and I don't want to give any excuses so I'm just gonna do better. I'll now be giving you guys at least two chapters every other day until the book is complete 😁.
I know it might be too much to ask of you, but please bare with me 🤞🏾.