𝘼𝙩 𝙡𝙖𝙨𝙩 || 𝙆𝙉𝙔 𝙁𝙁

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"The world is a place to harvest for the hereafter."

I always reminded myself of that quote my grandmother said to me when I was still a child.

I've always been the sick, weak girl of the town. I got dizzy a lot, and quite often I ended up fainting.

My parents tried to find some sort of cure for my illness. They gave up soon. It was pretty clear that my illness wasn't going to go away.

The sickness didn't start right away. It slowly creeped on me like a predator waiting to catch its prey.

My mother has been trying to marry me off to some random men lately. She said it'll be better if I settle in with someone, so someone can take care of me when she dies. I wasn't bad looking, so who would refuse such a pretty offer?

But who was to care for a sickly, weak girl?

Ever since my parents found out about my sickness, they started to focus more on my younger siblings who were perfectly normal.

I understand. My younger brothers and sisters need a good, enjoyable, wealthy life. I get that. I want them to be happy too.

But sometimes, sitting on the front yard under the shadows of the trees, watching my siblings laugh and play stings my heart. I wish I could join them. Play with them. Be the older sister I need to be.

Instead, I sit under the thick blanket of darkness of the shadows, observing.

I try to keep a positive heart. Love my family that doesn't acknowledge my existence. It's hard, but what my grandmother said to me comes back every time I feel some sort of hatred.

I need to grow flowers and fruits inside of my spirit, not weeds and thorns.

"Yurei!"

I snapped out of my endless trails of thought, and back to reality. My mother was calling me, and she didn't sound too happy. She probably called my name several times by now.

"Yes?" I answered, rising up from my seat.

The world swirls before my eyes.

Shoot.

I squeeze my eyes shut and grip onto the nearby wall, breathing in deeply and out.

After counting to ten, I slowly open my eyes again.

There, in the blurriness of my vision, I can see my mother's figure by the doorway.

She doesn't rush to help.

"Did you need something?" I ask, lowering my hand that was supporting me.

"How many times do I have to tell you that sitting inside will just make your conditions worse?" My mother scolds with a frown. "Get outside."

With that, she leaves the room and greets my siblings that were just outside playing with their friends.

I slowly make myself out of my room and into the living room. My siblings do not notice me and run straight to their shared rooms.

Making myself outdoors, I slip on my geta. Not that I'd do much outside, either. Mother would probably yell at me again for not looking after my health and being outside too much, even though she was the one that suggested this in the first place.

I've been inside of my home and yard so much that I forgot what the town looked like.

I can see peaks of two-story buildings, and some signs from inside the yard. That was about it.

How are the people in my town doing? The udon shop I loved to go to with my grandmother? My childhood friends? The hill with lots of butterflies and memories?