A Long Road to Redemption

Chapter 49

On visitation day, Sidney was excited to see Jillian waiting for her. The two quickly embraced and sat at a nearby table. It was the first time since her parents died that she received a visitor that wasn't her lawyer. Occasionally, a church group or some other organization visited, gave encouragement, or some goodwill. Still, it was different when someone came specifically to see you.

Jillian was visibly uncomfortable in these surroundings after being away for so long. This was the first time she had returned since her release, and even then had to get special permission to visit. It surprised her that the powers that be allowed it, but they did, so here she was.

Sidney looked happy to see her again. Jillian knew that it was a lonely place on the inside. A slight guilt passed through her mind that she had not gotten here sooner. Being back here brought back many memories, some of which she did not want to remember. Maybe that's why she wanted to return so badly to see the woman she regarded as her best friend. She also knew that once released, many people never had anything to do with those left on the inside or those she knew while locked up. Sidney was different.

After sitting down, it was Sidney who spoke first. "How's life on the outside?" she asked. There was a genuine curiosity in the question. Being cut off from the rest of the world is a strain in and of itself. She craved any news from what was happening beyond the walls around her.

"It's still taking a lot of getting used to," Jillian said, trying to be as honest as possible. "I couldn't sleep the first night home because it was so quiet. I swear I got up and couldn't walk past the room door. Good thing my bedroom had a bathroom, or I might have been in trouble."

"Come on, girl, tell me, how is your job? What's it like to eat what you want when you want?" Sidney said while smiling, but a desperation underneath that wanted to know those things. She couldn't help but think how you could forget how something like that worked in the real world outside.

"I've had to relearn how to relate to people. Working as a waitress, you get disrespected a lot. Well, if that happened in here, those are fighting words, but at work, you have to say yes sir and yes ma'am and learn to take it, or you'll get fired quickly."

Sidney laughed at that thought. "It's hard to picture you in a waitress outfit." She knew that statement had a lot of meanings. Jillian was college-educated and had a good job at a bank before she went to prison. Now, she works as a waitress at a local restaurant for less than minimum wage plus tips. "Are they treating you alright? Giving you good shifts?"

"Yeah, the owner is friends with my dad. He was a little reluctant at first, but Dad won him over to the idea right before I was released. They are good people, so I try to work hard for them. Enough about me, how are you? Is everything going well? As good as they can, at least?"

"I'm fine, Jillian, I am. Things are different now, but I'm making it. The pictures and videos you sent me have helped a lot. Thank you so much for doing that."

"Hey, look, I'm not that good, but being only an hour or so from the beach, I thought, why not? I knew you loved going to the beach, but surfing is kicking my butt."

"You don't have to surf just for me, you know. I love the videos, but you don't have to do them."

"Would you just let someone do something nice for you, for crying out loud?" Jillian said, trying to keep the mood light. "Seriously, I want to do this for you. It's fun once you get past the bruises and nearly broken bones."

"You're so silly," Sidney laughed.

"Listen, Sidney, there is something I need to tell you," she said quietly. "I didn't want to tell you in a letter or email unless I had to, but," Jillian stopped in midsentence, not knowing what to say next.

"Jillian, tell me. Are you in trouble?"

"Well, maybe."

"Jillian, please tell me you're not getting sent back here."

"What? No, no, not that at all. No, nothing like that. Jeez really? No, Sidney, I'm getting married."

"You're what?" Sidney responded in a voice that drew a look from a guard. "Jillian, that's great. Why were you afraid to tell me?"

"I didn't want to seem to brag. Believe me, it's not something I wanted to happen."

"Well, who is he? How did you meet? How long have you dated?"

"Whoa, slow down, chic, slow down. His name is Steven Colley. He's a guy I knew in high school. I'm embarrassed about it, but I hardly knew him because he was a little on the dorky side, and I was a cheerleader. I didn't even recognize him when I first saw him. He started coming into the restaurant and sitting in my section several times a week. He asked me out, but I turned him down. I guess he wore me down, not in a creepy stalker kind of way, but he was sweet, so I agreed."

"You two couldn't have dated that long, though," Sidney said. "Did you tell him about where you've been?"

"I told him on our second date. The funny thing was he already knew I'd been in prison. He said he liked the thought of dating a dangerous woman." Sidney repeated the word dangerous and couldn't help but laugh. "No, girl, it was cute. Look, it's not like we're a couple of teenagers. We just fit together. I can't explain it, but we just work."

"What does he do for a living?"

"What are you, my mother?" she kidded Sidney. "He's an insurance adjuster. And yes, before you ask, he's a churchgoer, and I've been going with him. He really is great."

"I'm happy for you, Jillian. Really, I am. I wish you both the best. When is the wedding?"

"Well, we want to wait until this spring or June. It's going to be pretty small," Jillian paused momentarily. "I want you to be my maid of honor."

"Jillian," Sidney got quiet. She didn't know what to say. "You know I can't do that. They would not even let me go to my parents' funeral. There's no way I can be at your wedding."

"I know, but Steven will have a best man, so I want you to be my maid of honor even though I know you can't be there. So, there will be three bridesmaids but no present maid of honor. There's no one I would rather have, so in the pictures with the wedding party, there will be a space between me and the bridesmaids for you."

"Jillian, you should have someone there with you."

"No. No one could take that spot but you. Whether you are there or not, it's yours."

"Thank you, girl," she said, wiping a small tear. "You are crazy, though."

A few minutes later, their time was up. They embraced again, and Jillian promised to write and send more videos soon. Sidney promised to write back as well. As she walked back to her cellblock, she went through all the memories of her time with Jillian. She was happy for her, but a part of her couldn't help but wonder if she would ever find love again. After Lawson, she wasn't sure she even wanted to, but never is a long time. However, she first had to get out, but that would be a long time. Still, she thought, maybe.