A Long Road to Redemption

Chapter 20

The following day started just the same as the previous one. The food was the same. The time spent in the cafeteria was the same. It was almost no different. In some ways, it reassured Sidney that life had finally become a routine. Yet, at the same time, the thought of this would be how life was for a very long time frightened her.

She and Jillian sat in the same area as before and made small talk. The same two inmates joined them as yesterday. One who was 29, with short brown hair and slightly overweight, was named Rebekka Miller. The other was a short, 32-year-old red-haired woman named Sarah Billingsley, who wore dark-rimmed glasses. Sidney was friendly but avoided going into too much in detail about herself and nothing about her case. Though she didn't ask how much time the other two had, she could tell they would not leave anytime soon.

Once breakfast was complete, it was time to return to the cellblock. After the headcount, they had a while before going to their workstation. "Ok, girl, it's our turn to hit the showers, so grab your stuff and let's go," Jillian said.

"Uhm, Jillian, do we have to right now? I mean, can't we wait until later when there aren't as many, you know, people looking?"

"Hey, trust me, you want these people to see you bathe today. It proves you aren't someone who's going to be nasty. Come on, I'm going too."

"Jillian, I've...."

"Come on, there had to be a dozen people who saw your keister when you were brought in. What are you afraid of? You got a third boob growing under the other two or something?"

"No, but I've only been searched by one or two guards and never in front of others."

"Oh, come on, Sidney, it's not that bad, and no one wants to stare you down. Now grab your stuff and move your ass. We're on a schedule."

Jillian grabbed her by the wrist and started leading her to the shower area. The room was a complete bath area with sinks and toilets separated by a small cinderblock wall that offered a clear view of the person's face seated next to the user. The showers were directly in front of the toilets, so those sitting there could easily see anyone in the shower. There was no privacy whatsoever. The bath area was designed for easy observation by any correctional officer who wanted to look in. Though males were supposed to announce their presence, some were better about that than others.

When they arrived, Jillian looked at Sidney, "OK, hang your clothes there, put your shower shoes on, and let's go." Jillian unhesitatingly started to undress. Sidney was much slower and reluctant but eventually managed to get undressed. It was then she noticed they were not alone in the shower. Two much older black women were already in there washing up. One looked up and saw Sidney's hesitation.

"Honey, you can come in here. We ain't gonna bite," the first one said. She must have been in her mid to late sixties.

"Yeah, you got nothing to worry about. Jo, don't allow nobody fightin' in here. She wants everybody clean, and you can't get clean if people are fighting," said the other lady, who also looked to be in her sixties.

"You see, Sidney, now come on," and with that, Jillian grabbed her by the wrist again and led her inside. Once inside, Sidney began to relax a bit more. The water was not much above lukewarm, but it was good enough to get the job done. The soap and shampoo combination was supposed to have no scent, but that made it smell worse. Again, it was good enough to do the intended job but little else. The shower took forever because of the lack of water pressure, but the whole thing was done in about ten minutes.

After they dried off and put their uniforms back on, they returned to their cell to get ready for work. "See, I told you it wasn't that bad," Jillian teased her. Sidney gave her a disapproving look, "Ok, yeah, you did. It wasn't bad."

"You have to get used to doing things in front of people that you once did when the doors were shut. At my former job, I would walk down two flights of stairs to a small bathroom down the hall to go number 2. I thought I was being so smart until I came out one day, and my boss was about to walk in to do the same thing. Now, it doesn't bother me a bit. As a matter of fact, some of the best conversations of the day are in the bathroom. That would have never happened on the outside."

Sidney laughed despite herself. "Jillian, I don't think I could do that. I mean, I'm not potty shy, but I don't know about carrying on a conversation while going."

"Give it a few weeks, and you'll be surprised what you'll be doing. Come on, let's not be late."

The rest of the day followed the exact routine as before. The meals, the breaks, everything happened the same way as yesterday. By the time they returned for lockdown, Sidney was starting to feel the routine of the place begin to sink into her. By no means did she know all that she needed to, and by no means was she an expert, but she knew what the next day's schedule would bring. She stretched out on her bunk and tried to get to sleep. It was a lot to take in for such a short time, and she hoped she was doing okay. Nobody gives you a prison report card to tell you how you're doing. As she closed her eyes, the thought ran through her mind, "11 years, 11 months, and 28 days to go."