The Price Of Love

Chapter 40

Jay's POV

I knock on Clayton's door first.

He glances at me when I walk in, sitting on his bed again, and his face falls when his eyes land on the bag over my shoulder.

"Where are you going?" He whispers, and I can't say the words, so I just shoot him a small smile.

He shakes his head immediately, eyes wide as he runs over and hugs me. "No- no you can't leave again!" He cries into me.

"It's just me. The triplets will be staying till the end of the week still" I tell him gently while I hug him tight. "What did you do?" He whispers, his voice cracking.

I stay silent for a second. "You can talk to the twins now. It'll be good for you to talk to someone" I indirectly answer his question.

He hugs me tighter. "When will you be back?" Clayton then mumbles, and I screw my eyes shut. "I don't know Clayton. But..not anytime soon" I say honestly, not believing in giving him false hope.

"Keep writing to me.." He whispers, and I smile a bit while he pulls away. "Of course".

He stares at me, sniffling quietly while silence fills the air. We've never said goodbye before.

When Issac would send me away on long jobs hours away that would last days, he never gave us a chance to say goodbye.

In a way, it was almost better.

Because this fucking hurts.

I dig my hand into my pocket, grabbing the pocket knife I always keep on me. Issac gave it to me when I was seven. I don't know why I still keep it.

I hand it to Clayton. "Here, take this," I tell him, and he stares at the knife in his hands. "Heard you're good at it" I whisper, and his lips form a tiny smile.

On one of my phone calls with Issac, he mentioned Clayton was good at throwing. He said his aim was almost better than mine. I don't know what his point was- whether it was to piss me off or brag- I'm not sure.

"I'm going to go now. Please..just stay here for the next thirty minutes.. otherwise I won't be able to leave" I mumble, and he nods a bit while I step back.

"Bye Jay" He whispers, and I shoot him a smile, ruffling his hair. "Bye kid" I whisper back.

I then leave, praying he'll still be here the next time I'm allowed to visit.

I walk across the hallway, and knock on Sage's door, before opening it.

He sits on the edge of his bed, thankfully no knife in his hands this time. He frowns when he sees me and the bag I carry, immediately knowing.

He looks down at his hands. I sigh, closing the door behind me. "I'm sorry Sage" I whisper, and he just shrugs.

I drop my bag to the floor and walk over, sitting beside him on the bed. "I want you to listen to me, okay?" I say, and he turns his head, staring.

"You need to sleep" I begin, staring at him seriously. "Even if it's difficult. Even if it's scary. You need to. Every single night- you need to try. And when you wake up, even though it might be hard, you need to try to fall back asleep" I tell him.

"You need as much of it as you can get. Sage, you're not going crazy. You're suffering from sleep deprivation" I tell him, and he looks away from me again.

"And whatever sleeping pills you take aren't going to work if you don't at least try, okay?" I finally finish, and Sage nods his head, his eyes glued to the floor.

I put an arm over his shoulder, and he leaned into my side. "I'll send you stuff to try okay? Secretly obviously. But don't worry Sage- just because I'm not there doesn't mean I'm not still trying to help" I whisper.