happiness & hurting

her

"the night is as black as your morning cup of coffee, and i feel like i havent seen you in years. but here i am in a little bed with my eyes glued shut, and all i see is you. flashback upon flashback. your mysterious green eyes staring at me full of love, your soft fingers with my fingers wrapped around them, your long crimson-y red hair flowing down your shoulders. ill lay here and remember you saying you love me and you'll see me soon, and one day you said that but it wasnt so true, for you left and since then ive been waiting for 'soon' to arrive. i dont know if i really seek this so called 'soon' but maybe i do. maybe i need it to relieve the anger i have built up inside, the anger i show to everyone else when really i just want to hide. because of you i trust little to no one, and i get attached better than the worlds best super glue. i put too much into people who care too little, in the hopes that some part of them will remind me of you and bring me somewhat closer. even if you arent around, i still miss you. i wish you wouldnt have left me with my first out of many broken hearts, and i wish you hadnt taught me what real pain is. i wish you hadnt taught me how painful lies are and how easy it is to forget the truth. i wish you wouldnt have thrown around love so much, only to forget. you left me alone and cold, losing not only you, but my father as well. it all happened so fast that i didnt comprehend until now. the wounds hadnt fully developed, but now they have and they sting like rubbing alcohol on a fresh cut. except the pain never goes away. thats why im so sensitive to little things, such as lies, and promises. because i know how terribly wrong they can go. i think i lost a part of me in your mesmerizing green eyes. for they were a mystery that is merely unsolvable."