The Silent Killer - Completed

Daniel

 I could see the pain in her eyes. She was really struggling and seeing the person you love like that is horrifying. You would do anything for them and when you can’t it breaks your heart. As I reached her I held her hand close to my heart and kissed her on her forehead.

“I love you. You can do this” I whispered in her ear.

“Daniel we can’t wait much longer. She is in too much pain to stay awake.”

“Ok.” I took one last look into her fear-filled eyes and told her I loved her. She had to know that if she didn’t wake up. Then again, in what felt like a life time ago, I felt my wife’s grip on my hand loosen, her eyes closed and she was gone.

“The next few hours are crucial. As I said we really need to keep a close eye on her so the room will be very busy” Amelia said calmly.

“Please do everything you can.”

“You know I will Daniel.”

As a stream of nurses came into the room and whisked her off, Amelia pulled me back.

“Are you ok? Maybe you should go home and get some sleep there is nothing you can do here.”

“I can’t sleep. I haven’t been able to for days. Just knowing she was going for one surgery was bad enough but having to be rushed back in...I just...I can’t cope Mel, I just can’t cope.”

I had never let anyone but Aoife see me in this state. I was beyond repair at this point. Broken and bruised will fear running through my veins. I collapsed into Amelia’s arms and let all my feeling out. She seemed a little shocked then I realised – guys don’t do that sort of thing. She was right to be shocked.

I woke up hearing bleeping. Confused about where I was I looked around only to realise I wasn’t where I thought I was. The room was small and dark. It smelled strange and I was oddly quiet. I stood up and walked carefully towards the door hoping not to tread on something before I reached it. As the door opened I could hear a faint whimper of voices. The corridor was dark but at the end was a flicker of a light. Still confused as to my whereabouts I walked towards the light constantly looking around, scared someone was about to jump out. Where had this fear came from? I was the strong one and had never been scared as much as I am today.

Startled by someone touching me I turned round to be in a different atmosphere. This time the fear had lightened. Was it a dream? As my head spun around I saw Amelia standing behind me.

“How are you feeling?”

“As best you can be after a day like mine. What time is it?”

“3 am”

“Shouldn’t you be at home by now? Jason will be worried.”

“He will be fast asleep no doubt.”

“He will still be worried. Wondering where you are.”

“I’ll call him later.”

I decided to go a walk and stretch my legs a little. As I kissed Aoife I suddenly remembered Harry. How could I have forgotten him? My little boy was all alone unaware of the ordeal his mum has gone through. I rushed out the room and along to the nurse’s station. But there was nobody there. Scuttling around looking for anyone in scrubs who could guise me in the right direction. Then without realising I stumbled upon the NICU. So quiet and peaceful at this time of the morning. There were no other parents for the 4 babies here. I’m sure they will have spent most of the day with theirs and were sitting saying ‘oh that’s a shame. That poor baby hasn’t had anyone come visit’. I guess if I was them I would be saying the same thing.