The Silent Killer - Completed

Dr Amelia Peters

Daniel was right. I probably should have phoned Jason and told him I would be late home. Truth it, I am afraid if I go home I won’t be able to be the strong, independent woman Jason thinks I am. We have been together nearly 4 years and he has never seen me break down. Aoife has been my idol since the day I stepped into the hospital and now she is barely alive lying helplessly in that hospital she put all her trust in.

Feeling guilty I went to my locker and checked my phone – 9 missed calls from Jason. Feeling worse now than I did I grabbed my bag and without changing out of my scrubs I headed towards the main entrance. Turning the corner Jason was stood at reception.

“Jason!” I shouted as I ran towards him wrapping my arms round his waist pulling myself close.

“What happened? I hadn’t heard from you and got so worried.” He said smoothing my hair.

“It’s Aoife.”

“What? What’s wrong with her?”

Bursting into tears I could barely speak.

“Can we go home?”

Jason took off his coat and wrapped it round me holding me tight the whole way to the car. The ride home was silent. He kept looking over at me and I tried to hold back any more tears.

Going up the driveway I began to hear all the questions I knew he would want answered so I said “Can we just go to bed and I’ll explain in the morning?”

“Of course hun”.

I felt so weak and lifeless as Jason walked me to the door. Fumbling for my keys he noticed the frustration in my face.

“Mel, calm down. Just relax and don’t worry about it.”

Looking up at him my eyes were filled with tears. Sitting there ready to burst out at any moment. He had never seen me like this and I was scared he would react badly but it turns out he is more than the man I thought he was.

As we walked through the dark hallway towards the bedroom thoughts were racing through my mind yet again. What if I had done that? What if this had happened? I needed to get myself out of that frame of mind for once and for all. It isn’t a good frame of mind to be in but we all have it.

Still in my scrubs I lay there on our bed holding back the tears as long as possible. I could sense Jason looking at me and finally gave in. I turned to him and pulled myself into his chest with my face pressed into his neck. He held me tight and told me everything was going to be ok. I could only try and believe him as I did not know what was going to happen.

What felt like a few hours later I woke up still engrossed in Jason’s arms.  At that moment I realised how lucky I was. Look at what I had in my life - a man who loved me even when I was at my weakest. I lay there for a long while awake waiting for him to waken. I felt so safe and protected. He loved me and I had spent so long denying this because of my self-consciousness.  But why? Clearly he was telling the truth.

As he gradually opened his eyes and looked down at me I smiled. “Thanks”.

“What for?”

“For being here”

“I’ll always be here” he said leaning down to kiss me. “Whenever and wherever you need me. I’ll be there”.